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levi and mom Posted By: recoveringwishes
Posted On: 04/02/2008
freedom to be levi and mom
Current mood: satisfied
Category: Life

I have had this whole attitude change today. I was hospitalized for three weeks with my newest and on the phone constantly fighting to get kids taken care of only to come home to a trashed house and HAD to be just a mom for 3 days, to my suprize it was the happiest i have been in years. not fighting the state to take care of this or that, or find inhome support or respite care to get this or that done, no dr's appointments to go to, or suppliments to order, foods was all made incase I still had to stay in the hospital longer ect. so no real from scratch cooking and realized I was so busy having to keep life going, that I forgot about life. this is the first saterday in years I have sat back and enjoyed my kids, cooking, cleaning doing laundry, and just being mom. (it helps that my sons autism issues for some reason since upping folic acid in the last few days has made him a breeze.) i feel like I am experience life with out the autism effect......boy all that we don't know we are missing everyday......it has made me hunger for the norm.....and work harder to get there. please this doesn't mean I don't love my son with autism. HE isn't autism, he HAS autism, but it's fleating as we fight this thing so leave our family alone, so I can once again be mom......i have sat in awe this week watching empathy and sympathy be displayed in my son for the first time in 5 years (started b12 upped folic acid and readded LDN) his social ability last night with the changes had me in tears as he was initiating like he never was autistic, was making suggestions for play, engadging in regular socail interaction with out it being an effort. he was playing by the game rules, didn't have to ask WHAT to do, clearly asked and suggested idea's, had the motor skills to do them, was laughing and playing an NO one in our our neighborhood had any hint he was a special needs kid.....I didn't have to explain any weird behavoirals, or tantrums, or gestures......i felt........free.......I can't remember that time in our life......it's been 5.5 years since we were there.....fully there.....he now is even stating I can't have that I'm allergic instead of excussing it on autism. HE gets it. the montel williams show contacted us back wanting more info for their show on the 2nd on recovered kids. I asked him if he wanted to go on and talk about autism and what it was like for him. he even TOLD me yesterday mom I'm not autistic anymore I'm normal now........I cry while writting this......he justs wants to be levi just like I just want to be mom. he came in this morning and said "mom I love you, your my hero.....gave me a hug and asked if he could have snaps now and hemp milk. gotta love him........building ours futures, we are......
       
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