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FoggyRock Blog
Long time coming Posted By: OneThirdGA
Posted On: 04/10/2008
Tonight I actually went through with it... I ripped up the carpet in my son's room. You see, he is a flooder, and I have finally had enough. No more silent laments to the heavens, no more cursing under my breath, no more gritting my teeth, no more threateining (myself, not him)... You know, "If he does it ONE MORE TIME, I am going to rip up that carpet!" No more using every towel in the house to try to mop it up, no more trying get get him to mop it up "though the carpet" because hey, what is gone is gone, and once the water is poured, the party is over. Or perhaps it is just begun... Because then you can slide in the wetness of the floor - which brings great joy to him. He likes to pour large tubs of water, if he can get them. Those plastic storage tubs - that we all know and love so much with the handy snap top lids. He also likes to pour out anything that comes in a spray bottle - especially blue liquiids. He likes breaking blue glass, too, but that is another story, and we no longer have any blue glass in the house. I just could not take doing the loads and loads of laundry after another one of his floods....

I have been threatening to rip up the carpet for about 3 years now, or ever since we have lived in this house. So, this is a huge step for me. His room now looks very "institutional". Remakrably, at 7, I don't think he even cares. I am in the process of bleaching out the wet spots on the floor as we speak.... We live on a slab... so, there were 2 wet spots, but the carpet stains revealed he had been much busier over the last 3 years than I had probably known... He is a very resourceful young man...

I think taking action is a good thing. With the floor cleared, I can move on, and so can he. We can go select some nice peel-n-stick tiles or some vinyl to put in his room, and he will be GONE when it is put down. God only knows I don't want him to know "how it got on the floor" so he can take it back up again. Then if he floods, urinates, pours, or otherwise soils the floor, he can more readily partake in cleaning it, and there will be no mystery about what is lurking beneath... I can get him his own mop and bucket, and he can take part in being responsible for his actions instead of me just wanting to scream, or cry, or eat something, or feeling like the Lone Ranger.

As I wirte this I am feeling a lot of things. I am sad, frustrated, angry, - glad that the carpet issue is over. I feel like I had to make this decision on my own, and truthfully, I did. That frustrates me. I am angry that I waited so long, thinking that maybe this would all go away? It seems so ridiculous. I am always so critical of others who are not on the reality train and by not being there - all I did was create frustration for myself and my family. Was my ego involved? Would we be a "weird family" for having peel-n-stick in a kids room? Or, is this just what we need to do to get through our son's childhood? Time to take a look at myself...
Tags:  Lessons we learn...
       
Carol wrote this reply on 04/10/2008
He is a flooder - do not use peel and stick tiles. In fact, please avoid any type of vinyl flooring tile. The wetness will get through the seams and you will have another nasty scene on your hands. Please look into sheet flooring with no seams. Commercial grade flooring is very sturdy and does not have to look institutional.A LOL I once read had a mother describing her dream living room floor - poured concrete with a dip in the center for a drain and a garbage disposal. Not suggesting you do that, but I got a real chuckle out of thinking of it....

shannonj wrote this reply on 04/10/2008
I think I can relate, to some degree. I have mourned unusual things over the years. Like packing up and giving away the Christmas presents from well-meaning family members that my son never gave a second look to. Or "un-decorating" his precious room because he was expressing his anger by throwing framed photos, lamps and curtain rods....I amaze myself at how tight I find myself holding onto what I feel is normal, like holding tight will guarantee a ticket out of autism sometime....letting go of another piece of normal can bring on grief that most folks don't understand. Hang in there.

mercurymom wrote this reply on 04/10/2008
((((BIG HUG)))) been right where you are!! one tip..just walk on the concrete for now..don't use peel and stick..you will end up pulling it up as well. When I took out the carpet, we walked on the concrete for years. Slowly I tiled each room, using tile I got on sale or was given. Still tile can have lead..you need to check...and the glue and such your child doesn't need to breath if you go this way.Tell you a funny..and you can smile. When my oldest child was in the 8th grade he made a friend, as an aspie, friends were not something he had too often..but this boy clicked with him well. The Dad came over to pick him up after school one evening..and stood in the middle of my tiny house, no flooring, physical therapy equiment where a couch and chair SHOULD have been, concrete to walk on, and he said, "Oh I thought this was your house, I see, it must be your business, do you work with brain injured childern or adults or both." I just smiled and said, "my son, but I consider myself brain injured for choosing to live this way." He laughed and told me a Mom that put her children first..was a real Mom, not to think twice about my living style...and I never did again.... Cheryl :)

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