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What is Independence? Posted By: AIsForAutism
Posted On: 04/28/2008
I posted this in my journal on my CafeMom page...I thought some of you might find it interesting...

What Is Independence?

I have found myself thinking about this a lot lately. My job for the past eight years has sometimes been called "Independence Facilitator" as well as Instructional Aide. I used to think that this title was unattainable with some students knowing that they would never be on their own living in their own house. Now that I am in the Adult Transition class, I see the tail end of what our district offers to students with various challenges prior to their graduating from our district. We work on life skills, functional skills and the kids hold a wide variety of jobs on and off campus. We offer our students pride in their jobs and their abilities. So, some have asked me, will any of them ever really be independent? Well, I ask myself that question a lot and the answer is another question...WHAT IS INDEPENDENCE?

I used to consider myself an independent adult, but here is just a brief list that proves that in reality I am not necessariy an independent adult:

1. I NEVER cook dinner meals 7 days a week. I am dependent on various restaurants in the area to make my family's dinner life complete (trust me, they are happy about this choice)

2. I am one of the only ones on my block who mows her own lawn, but I can't edge it so I "depend" on my husband to do this.

3. I can flush a toilet by myself, but if it doesn't flush properly, I am dependent on my husband to figure out why and if he can't we are dependent on our plumber friend to solve the problem.

4. At work, I am able to wash all the dirty laundry at the school, but I am dependent on a student to carry it since I have had back surgery recently. By the way, they also do the wash...and fold better than I do!

5. I can make sure I take proper care of my daughter, but if I can't figure out a health issue, I am dependent on medications or doctors to help me in this area.

6. I am able to wash the bed sheets, but I am dependent on my husband to put them on the bed in "military style" the way he likes it.

7. I am independent to push the sprinkler button to water our lawn, but am dependent on my husband to fix any broken sprinklers.

8. I am able to balance the check book and all financial matters in our house, but I am dependent on the bank doing their part to put the money where I want it.

9. I can see there is a spider on the wall, but I am dependent on my husband relocating it to the backyard...okay, or smooshing it

10. I can take the trash cans out to the curb every Wednesday night, but I am dependent on the disposal company to get it to the dump or wherever trash/recyclables go.

I could go on and on, but in reality none of us is truly independent. In all actuality, life would be kind of boring if we could do everything. We all live in a community and rely or DEPEND on those in our house, school, family, job, grooming, chores...and all the little and big things in life.

So, if you find yourself reading this journal, you might say, "What the heck is this lady's post about?" My point is that for those in this world who are challenged by autism or other issues in life, we all can be independent to some degree, but we ALL need to rely on others for things that challenge us or things that just aren't our cup of tea. Being independent is different for all of us. For some, it will be living with their parents and going to a day program to attend a much needed job. For some, it will be being the sole resident in their own house. For others, it can be living in a group home with others who will assist and champion for them. For some, just being living examples of positive attitudes in the shadow of major challenges is truly inspiring. So my challenge is to put on new lenses of love and see the potential that we all have to be whatever "independent" means for each of us...not just a narrow view of independence that the world sometimes portrays.

I'd love to read any of your thoughts or comments on my viewpoint.
Tags:  independence,  autism,  inspirations
       
shannonj wrote this reply on 04/29/2008
Hi-Such an interesting post and perspective. I just finished speaking to Stephen Shore--an author and speaker on the spectrum, and he was mentioning the same thing--that no one, NT or not, is independent. That we are all inter-dependent, and each of us just needs different kinds of support from others based on what we like to do, what we want to do and what we can and cannot do. This conversation helps us all relate to each other just a little bit better. Thank you

CraigStoxen wrote this reply on 04/30/2008
I was having this very conversation at lunch yesterday. It is a great question about what is independent. I personally have come tot he conclusion that independence is living life to the fullest of your ability - and beling allowed to - and having the social capital to help out others where they need it and to receive help in those areas where you need it. And this is very different for every person.Thanks

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