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The compli-sult Posted By: seymoursheep
Posted On: 05/24/2008
I am sure I am not the only one to have one of these, a compli-sult, it is meant to be a compliment by the person who says it, but there is no way that any rational individual hearing it could possibley not hear the insult that is laced within the words. The compli-sult is a tricky thing because the one to whom it is given is meant to respond gratefully. Thank you so much for your kind words of stupidity....no, that's not right.

Imagine this. I am at the drug store and meet a friend I havent seen in a long time. We are making small talk, and we talk about our children. She mentions my daughter and her autism....somehow she makes the following statement with a smile and the best intentions..."Only someone as kind and wonderful as you deserves to raise a child with autism"

That my friends is a compli-sult. I compliment, but it is really an insult. She is a great mom too, and she would be just as good a mom to an autistic child, she just doesnt think so - she doesnt value a child with autism the same as she values a normal child. It takes special people like me to raise autistic children for some reason. Not just anyone can do it...which I think is a bold faced lie. People need to suck it up. My child isnt some monster that needs to be backed away from or needs special forces to control. People need to get in there and get to know her. Look past the occasional screaming and flapping and you will find a little girly girl prncess who climbs trees, tells knock knock jokes, and can out run her brothers. She is a lot of fun, so give her a chance...and a compliMENT

now - How you respond to a compli-sult can show how much class you have compared to the ignorance of the compli-sultor...and that I think is the really tricky part....because mostly you are dealing with people who mean well and are trying to compliment you...they just seem to not be able to do it.

After that yesterday though, I felt so weird....how do people view us as parents, as monsters or heroes...I feel like I live in a tornado
       
carmel66 wrote this reply on 05/25/2008
frequently people feel uncomfortable talking about disabilities and end up saying someting stupid - and that quote takes the cake. I'll have to admit that autism scared the crap out of me before I had kids. It was (in my opinion then) the WORST thing that could happen. Now - I know better. Autism is no fun (except that you have an excuse to act crazy when playing with your child) but there are far harder things in life. She loses.

Motherof4 wrote this reply on 05/25/2008
I've always felt that I live in a lion's den! You just never know how people will react, and to be fair to her, she's probably never been really tested by life, so she doesn't understand that sometimes it's the challenges that really make life beautiful. It's too bad for her that she doesn't see what you do in your daughter, but give her time. Maybe one day she will. Meanwhile, maybe you can have a t-shirt made for your daughter: "I am a princess. I climb trees. I tell knock-knock jokes. I'm faster than fast. I also have autism. You got a problem with that? Deal with it."

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