I'm wonderin if 1 in 150 kids has autism, has anyone ever done a study to see how many kids had autism out of only kids who didn't have vaccines. I'm also wondering how I am going to pay for all these tests that seem to be so important for my son and how sad it is that insurance is of no help. I'm wonderin why I no longer feel like talking to my friends without autistic kids. I'm wondering if my little boy is ever going to be able to verbally tell me he loves me (he does do it nonverbally now!) I'm wondering what types of things I thought about before we found out Will had issues.
Ginny wrote this reply on May 05, 2008 6:16 am
I could have written that!!!! I don't know who I would be if I didn't have this all consuming gotta-fix-it attitude about Seth. We have come so far in the past three years and I can't wait to see what lies ahead. I can't imagine what I would be focused on if Autism was not a part of my life. As for friends, I really don't have the patience to listen to someone who is depressed because of some trivial meaningless problem. Remember you are not alone!Ginny
Boy, that is all so true! I almost wish I could have just one day where I am in a completely different world where autism does not consume one second of my day. I do not know if I am an extreme example but I can't even seem to watch a TV show without my mind drifting to something I have to do, making lists in my head, trying to remember everything the therapist told me today on new things to do with Jameson at home. Then of course thinking of how much will the biomedical doc cost because insurance won't pay a dime towards that... Friends...hmm..well, I have a friend who just had a baby in January and she asks a lot of questions about autism, the signs and such--I don't mind talking with her about it at all but when it is 98% of our conversations I start thinking I am just an informative person for her now rather than a friend who can talk about day to day things, etc. Family....now there is where I have more problems---well, just one really. I have a sister who has a son 3 weeks older than Jameson and she shows him off like he is a circus act or something. My other sisters do not do this with their children. There are times when I just have to leave the room. I don't know if I am too insensitive or she is just over the top. But boy does it get to me sometimes. It even gets hard for my husband sometimes and he is probably a little more even keeled than I am when it comes to getting hurt or upset at things like that. Ok, did I rant enough--sorry!! I cannot tell you how much I agree with what Ginny said about not having the patience to deal with someone who is depressed or up in arms about trivial and meaningless problems!! You are definitely not alone :)
- tabaithasteward wrote this reply on May 05, 2008 4:49 pm
No you are not alone!I do the same as you. All I think about is Jared and his recovery then I worry about my little girl who just turned 1 ( at times I worry about her to much)I have no time for people who dont have a child with ASD they cant see what we go through or our feelings. They have people who help them cause there kids arnt like ours I never go or do anything cause I have no one to watch my children. One reason is jared's diet its to strick and to hard for others to do it. The other is I'm afraid of trusting others with my babys. But on a nice note I'm going to Autism 1 and my husband will get a taste of what my life is like.And really how hard it is. when no ones around to help you!!!!
- minnakay wrote this reply on May 05, 2008 7:53 pm
It is funny, I am in about the same boat. I have a nephew born same week as Will and a neice born a little after so it is hard to compare and see the differences. Also, my husbands parents came to visit from FL when Will turned one and didn't even hold him once, didn't really pay any attention to him, said they were letting him warm up to them.. BS. Now they want to be all talking to me about how concerned they are. NO THANKS!! I'll get my support elsewhere.
mercurymom wrote this reply on May 05, 2008 6:57 pm
I've been at this forever it seems..I can't quote you a study, but can tell you in a peds office that does not vax..he says autism is not something he sees..Also I live in a Amish-Mennonite area...and these groups in MY area do not vaccinate...and they don't have autism. (I say my area becuse there are pockets that do vaccinate in other areas of the country)Have I seen kids with autism that were unvaxed..yes I have..and you wanna know what was discovered..they were high toxic childern, due to living on a farm where mercury treated seeds had been planted years before. All the children in the family have various degrees of autism, and the parents had other health issues. I have never met an autistic child that was not toxic...I can't answer what will become of your son tomorrow...I can say...us old parents of near grown or grown kids..are doing our best to pave the way to make it easier for you to get the right services and medical help..that was not there for us. As for the money to pay for this...don't keep quite about the cost..if your church or friends what to help in anyway from a bake sale to holding a fund drive day..let them.As for not talking to friends, I understand that one. It's hard to know 10 childern born within days of your child..and see what they are doing..and yours isn't. I live that.What I thought before John...was that having an aspie was hard. I tell people, "I thought I had it hard with Aaron, I thought I had walked in fire for him...what I didn't know..was that I had not so much as smelled smoke compared to the life John would live, and the needs he would have." And I mean that..watching my son loose his skills and abilities and become a lump of living humanity and the toll it would take on our lives..HUGS to you..chin up..Cheryl....Who is now happy with live and her kids and how far we have come...
- ppdnos1mom wrote this reply on May 05, 2008 10:55 pm
My parents are really great with him but my in laws are still in denial and they like to get right in his face and are really loud. Jameson has some anxiety with new people and also has some sensory issues at times so the loudness right in his face didn't work so great! They have gotten better with him but still do not think there is anything "different" about him. They say it is just his personality. They are the type of people who like to just push things under the rug. There is no way that THEIR grandchild could have autism!
- Theresakb wrote this reply on May 07, 2008 11:32 pm
That is one of my MAJOR pet-peeves is most people speak really loud around my son, that is totally opposite of what he needs. I don't know why most think that anyone with a disability must be hard of hearing. Most times I feel like screaming at them "lower your voice already!!" but that would probably freak Dale out even more.
AWETISM wrote this reply on May 06, 2008 6:22 am
I agree with you and Ginny. I have asked these questions soo many times. I feel that so many of my friends and family can't stand it when I e-mail them yet again something that has to do with Autism. I have two Nt kids and it is so hard for me to talk to parents and see them with there NT kids. One person said to me on Sat Oh your son meaning my NT must go to lots of Birthday parties I almost broke down and starting crying . This person had no idea. May you get much support here . This is a great place !!!!
- minnakay wrote this reply on May 06, 2008 1:03 pm
THANK YOU! I have been getting a lot of support so far.
shannonj wrote this reply on May 06, 2008 10:40 pm
I totally hear you....so much is unknown, except that, as a parent, you'll keep loving your kids and do whatever it takes to help them be their best.
mommyof11 wrote this reply on May 07, 2008 3:21 am
Actually the "true" numbers show that 1 in 67 children have Autism. The numbers 1 in 150 were acheived through a study that was done on ONLY 8 year olds! LITERALLY! That left out all children over and under the age of 8!A study was done by compiling all the school records and that study showed the true numbers to be 1 in 67. That number could vary as well since a lot of children with Autism are homeschooled.I have the link saved and will share it once I dig it up! It tells who did the study and all the statistics! :)God bless!HUGS!
Anamcara wrote this reply on May 07, 2008 3:33 pm
Similar thoughts here, as well. I can't honestly remember my life before autism, much less before children :) However, I have two children on the spectrum, not vaccinated, so my wondering tends to go down other roads...one which includes the issue of bisphenol A that has been leeching into out systems since before birth through anything plastic (including baby bottles) that we use...just one more thing to ponder on a very, very long list.
tambara wrote this reply on May 08, 2008 12:50 am
I read a lot about vaccines in the early years of Caleb's autism (he is now 12)and since then have just spent time trying to figure out ways to help him and not worry so much how he came to be. Now that I have Kate who is 8 months old it seems all I think about is vaccines and what's the right thing to do for her. Your not alone in your thoughts and you have friends here.
tommysmom wrote this reply on May 08, 2008 12:51 am
I understand how you feel. My son is will be 22 on Mother's Day and I understand. I can only say that you musst not give up. I have seen most of the imporvement with my son on natural herbs and vitamins.About the vaccines...Tommy's sister is 2 years younger tahn him and received the same vaccines from the same doctor. Maybe she was just lucky, but she is not autistic. I am sorry that there are no real answers out there. I think some of these treatments are just not for all autistic kids. Use your "gut feelings" about what's best for your son!
