You read the title correctly. My daughter, and my family were asked to leave a Smitty's restaurant this morning (July 5, 2008) after a brief autistic crying episode disturbed another table...in a full restaruant...one table - not a lot of tables, and not even a table close to us, one across the restaurant. This is one upsetting problem...that we were asked to take her out because she was making noise.... to understand what prompted me to call the local papers, TV stations, radio stations, the better bussiness bureau and a lawyer... please read below the letter I sent to the president of the restaurant chain tonite. Sarah and Michael Seymour 826-10 Ave Wainwright AB t9w1b h(780)842.5093 c.(780)806.1353 apencil@telus.net 2008-07-05 Smitty’s Canada To Whom it May Concern; I am writing to you to relay the inappropriate way in which my daughter, who has special needs, and my family, was treated by your staff at the Smitty’s Restaurant located at 18320 Stony Plain Road, Edmonton Alberta. The incident occurred during breakfast hours on Saturday July 5, 2008. My family of 6, 2 adults and 4 children stay at the Travelodge in Edmonton 4-5 times each year and dine at your restaurant for breakfast every visit. We do this for the sake of continuity as well as convenience. My 5-year-old daughter Eowyn has Autism and routine is very important to her. As you might imagine, travelling is very stressful for her and the change is hard to deal with. The Travelodge hotel and the Smitty’s restaurant have become familiar to her over the past couple of years. This morning she ordered her usual Pizza for breakfast...another reason we choose Smitty’s is its ability to feed her odd tastes at odd hours. Today however, pizza was unavailable. This was upsetting to Eowyn and took her some time to process. Your waitress was very understanding and didn’t seem disturbed at all...I explained my daughter had autism (she was even wearing a shirt that stated the fact), and she would calm in a few minutes, another waitress offered us coloring. The distraction did not work, although appreciated. My daughter may look like a normal five year old, but the behaviour she was exhibiting was similar to a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. She was crying and pulling her hair. We gave her some deep pressure massage and she had stopped pulling her hair...a sign the episode was almost over. We are in no way trying to say she was not making some noise and fuss, we are simply saying that the episode was not behavioural it was symptomatic, under control, and on the way to being stopped. This is when the Greeter/Manager...Itesh Kumav approached and demanded we take her out of the restaurant. I have never seen anyone ever ask anyone ask any parent to remove a crying child from a restaurant, and so I was shocked and asked why? He responded that another table was threatening to leave without paying? My husband’s non diplomatic response was to tell the other table to “suck it up” I immediately interjected and tried to explain the situation. My daughter has autism; she will be calm in a few minutes now that her food is here...Mr. Kumav’s response was still that she had to leave. I said that this was not acceptable. She could not help the way she was, she was upset because the restaurant did not have pizza. She would be calm in a minute. And his response...and I quote, believe me I can’t get his words out of my mind “If she is autistic and this is how she acts, you shouldn’t take her out in public” We immediately stood up and removed our family from the restaurant. I stopped at the front to get his name and the Manager’s name, Dave Hudson and a phone number to reach him 483.6457, which turned out to be the restaurant’s number which was of no use to me as I tried to reach him to talk to him only to be told I couldn’t speak to him until Monday. I have contacted the following press agencies about this incident: Edmonton Journal and CBC news and have done interviews with both. I have contacted my local Autism Advocacy group and will be looking to see if there is any applicable and reasonable legal action to be taken. I will also be contacting the better business bureau to place a complaint. When Mr. Kunav, an employee and representative of Smitty’s restaurant told me that my daughter should not be taken out in public I felt as though I had been slapped across the face. My daughter is learning how to act in public, and she can’t help that her brain processes things slowly and that it is painful while this happens and that is why she cries, my daughter has as much right to be in public as any other child. It is very difficult to parent a child let alone one with autism or other special needs. If my daughter is treated this way, who else is also treated this way by others who work for your restaurants? It is very important to me that all people with special needs are treated with respect. Your restaurant has not shown this to my child or my family, and thus, I must be concerned about others as well. I look forward to a response from you in the near future. If you wish to respond by phone before the 9th of July we are at (780) 539-3899, after that we can be reached at our home number. Sincerely Sarah and Michael Seymour If you would like to show your support for my daughter I would encourage you to email your comments to the president of smitty's at president@smittys.ca or directly to the restaurant in question at http://www.smittys.ca/access/Location/Home.aspx?locID=36 Thank you It has been a long day Sarah
Jake9068 wrote this reply on Jul 06, 2008 5:57 am
I'm so sorry that happened to you. My son , age 10, can now go to a restaurant without issues. It took a lot of practice at understanding establishments.I did email the president and left a comment for the restaurant.
ADifferentDrummer wrote this reply on Jul 06, 2008 12:38 pm
Good for you for taking action! It is the only way that people will learn to be more accepting and inclusive. It is a shame that people do not have compassion and understanding. You should not have to fight for the simple right to eat in a restaurant. Good luck with your endeavors to straighten this out. Every time one of us fights, we come closer to a goal of full inclusion in society. I will write a letter of support. Deb
mercurymom wrote this reply on Jul 06, 2008 1:44 pm
WOW! wonderful letter! Great job on this. I am hoping you hear back soon. This is very sad..the real shame lies with the table that wanted you to leave rather than ask it everything was okay..gish..Somepeople have very little heart...
shannonj wrote this reply on Jul 06, 2008 8:51 pm
I am so sorry to hear about this incident. Seems like these kind of experiences are happening more and more (could it be there are more kids on the spectrum these days?), and I'm so disappointed in the response of the management. Perhaps, along with our community's first responders, we need to also train management in stores and restaurants as well. I'm proud of you for bringing the attention to the media as this is a very real issue that needs to be addressed....Sadly, a lot more public awareness is still needed.
shannonj wrote this reply on Jul 06, 2008 8:56 pm
What a great letter. Attention certainly needs to be brought to this issue as this population is not just going to go away. Perhaps, as we train first responders in our community, we need to also put some efforts in training store and restaurant management as well.....I've been very fortunate in my community and we haven't had many negative responses to my son's behaviors (although at times, he was quite a mess) and I have often thought that I should write kind letters to places like the library and the health food store that have been especially understanding and patient with my son. Now, I'm really feeling that that would be a good way to have a positive impact on my community---by sending a letter explaining my son's issues, praising the staff by name for their kindness and enclosing a photo so we will be remembered in the future. Perhaps we could all do that and start building the supports around our kids that are needed to protect them from such awful scenes like you experienced.
kathy630 wrote this reply on Jul 06, 2008 10:26 pm
This is descrimination. I hope that you get the results that you want. I will send aletter also.
alesovoy wrote this reply on Jul 07, 2008 2:49 am
I've featured this in my blog, I hope I can help you get some more people to write to this company and let them know that this kind of discrimination and general cruelty is not to be tolerated.
striving wrote this reply on Jul 07, 2008 10:46 am
I'm so sorry you experience this. Americans are so spoilt. It's all about our comfort, our convenience, not about loving each other. To many people just love their own famililies. Our hearts are not big enough. We need God to open our eyes. I ache for what you went through and for your daugther. Great letter!!!
1_spec_Mommy wrote this reply on Jul 07, 2008 12:50 pm
I'm so sorry to read of your situation of being kicked out of the restaurant. I too have a ASD child, I have don't have many issues with him while we are in public, but I have certainly run into my fair share of screaming, fit throwing, tantrums and so forth out of others children. I would never think to ask a Restaurant employee to have them removed just because of those actions, Autistic or not. How cold hearted are these people? You don't have to answer that, we all know. Truth be known they are probably the kind of people that cause a scene in some way or another them selves and yet are bothered by something like this when it is some one else. I am glad to hear of your efforts to get results from this chain of Restaurants though, if I'm not mistaken, it sounds like a case of discrimination to me and I was under the impression that it was against the law to do that to people with a disability.
curlygal wrote this reply on Jul 07, 2008 6:20 pm
Sarah and Michael,I am very ashamed that this restaurant felt one customers wishes were valued over another's. I have faced discrimination many times with my ASD son. Please know that I shared my thoughts with the Smitty's restaurant using the link you provided. I am utterly disappointed in them.
JanisMary wrote this reply on Jul 07, 2008 10:18 pm
Hi,
I totally understand how you feel. I had the same sort of circumstance occur twice with my son with autism, when he was two years old and again when he was three years old.
The first incident happened when my mother-in-law visited from TX (to Alaska). I took her and my son, then 2 years old, out to eat at Sam's Sourdough (sort of like a Denny's type place). My son made lots of loud squawks, and high pitched screams (verbalizations) during our meal. We had lots of stares of disapproval from others eating there and the staff. But I had learned to ignore and kept trying to keep him quiet. Just as we were almost done, the waitress came up and said, "You are going to have to leave as your child is disturbing everyone's dining experience." I was so mad. I wanted to order dessert just to stay longer. But I didn't. I paid and left. In hindsight, I shouldn't have paid. I was told by a neurologist that it is illegal for the waitress to tell us to leave, and if done, I was not required to pay for the meals. The second circumstance was at a beauty shop, where my son screamed all during the haircut. Due to his screaming, I had the stylist cut only the front, to get the hair out of his face, and all my friends teased me as he had an out of style mullet (short in front, long it back). At the end of his half done haircut, the stylist told me I would no longer be able to bring him to her beauty salon as her other clients come to have their hair done in a relaxing, quiet environment. My son is/was a beautifuly, attractive child. He had no outward signs of being disabled, other than language, social interaction and behavior issues at this time. The public is and was very ignorant about the stress and isolation families with autistic children face. Plus how do our kids learn to behave appropriately in public places if they are not exposed to them, and able to practice, then learn how to behave? I share your struggles and frustration. If it helps, my son is now nine years old, and he does much better in restaurants, coloring while waiting, or playing game boy. He enjoys getting his hair cut now too. Life will get better, but in the meantime, it is important for parents to share their experiences and educate the public.
Janis Maltos
Mother of two sons, ages 9 and 7, on the autism spectrum
Motherof4 wrote this reply on Jul 08, 2008 12:59 am
I'm so, so sorry that this happened to you! The last thing a parent of an autistic child needs is more grief. You wrote a great letter. I hope you get the apology you deserve.
Motherof4 wrote this reply on Jul 08, 2008 1:05 am
I am so, so sorry that happened to you. I've just left an email at Smitty's website. The last thing you needed was more grief. I hope you get the apology you deserve.
kathy630 wrote this reply on Jul 08, 2008 3:24 am
Dear Seymour Family, I also sent an Email to Smittys and recieved a letter that things were trying to be corrected. I truly hope that you are happy with the results of your courage in standing up to ignorance and prejudice. I have to say that I threatened to picket the restuarant with a bunch of Mom's of autistic kid's. It sounded good at the time, but, later I had to laugh at a lot of P.Oed moms outside of this restuarant. Good luck and keep your faith.
