I have decided to move most of my writing to my blog since I feel they fit better here than with the compositions. Just a brief update right now. The holidays were great for my family, other than a wicked sinus infection that knocked my on kiester this past weekend. JJ really enjoyed his holidays and all the time family cousins, etc... he enjoyed his gifts and I loved all the time I got to spend with him. We watched several movies together and played with his toys a lot. It was wonderful.

So often as I look at my son's face, I realize how truly lucky I am. I have spent nearly 5 years now in therapist's offices, waiting rooms, and schools, being a part of his journey and trying to help him grow. It has been painful to see the pull of autism, always drawing him away from me and into his own world. I'm pulling on that massive, heavy rope, trying to keep him on my side, and I often can't imagine how I'll ever win. I sometimes want to drop it and walk away. I have a whole other life waiting for me. Then, suddenly, he's there- stroking my face, looking at me with a love in his eyes that I have never seen from any other person, as he says gently, "awww.....I love spending time with my mom. I love you" It's then that I wonder: how is it that I am so lucky? My son truly loves me, and he can tell me. What more could I ask for?

Every now and then, anger will show its ugly head with my autistic son. Sometimes, it takes hours to get him to calm down. Last night, he was playing his new chess game with his brother. When his brother started to win, Christian started getting angry. The only way I have learned to help him control the anger is to help him leave the environment in which it started. For example, last night it was in the livingroom. Since it was close to bed time, I sent him to bed. I worry about times I am not there to help him leave the situations. How will I never get him to understand how to know when it is a good time for him to go to another place and cool off. I can only pray that God will give me this guidance that he needs.

Merrry Christmas Everyone! I am looking to start a special needs ministry in my church. I am looking for information about starting this ministry. If anyone has any advice or information, please let me know. It will be greatly appreciated.

Our Autism Society held a parent's night out last night. I decided to go and check it out, and I am glad I went. Christian was able to meet three others boys his age with autism. There was one boy that he had alot in common with. They both think about some of the same things, and do some of the same things. Christian can't wait to attend the next one.

Please help me fill in the survey. The result will contribute to Change in collaboration between school and medical provider to help our children develop to their full potential. The survey link is here: Click Here to take survey Thank you a mother of a child with special need

Tonight Haley was adorable. The phone rang, mom answered and Haley grabbed another handset. SHe immediately put it to her ear and said "Aaa-oooo", looked at it and tried again. I just had to laugh!

Today, Christian was getting ready to start his homework. He looked at me and said "Mom, how long have I had autism?" I said since you were a baby. He looked at me and said something I thought was insightful for him. He told me that he didn't like autism because it made him forget things. I asked me what kind of things does he forget. He told me that he forget what things mean sometimes and what words mean sometimes. I view this as more progress. This month our Autism Society is going to have a parent night out. Parents are welcome to stay if they want. For the first time, I think I will go with Christian, and see if he can meet other people with autism. It would be so nice if he could find a friend that completely understood him. I am going to cross my fingers. :)

my son just learned how to lie; or at least knows now how to try to cover things up. he was always so literal. the other day he carried his jack-o-lantern up a ladder, onto our porch roof, and rolled it up over the peak (not steep) and let it roll off and smash on the ground. when I saw it broken to pieces on the ground, I said "luke, did you take your pumpkin up onto the roof and roll it off?" to which he siad " I didn't mean to, it was an accident." I see it as progress, so it is hard not to smile!