FoggyRock General Forum

Nellie_Rose · 2008-09-05 01:28:18

Does anyone have any suggestions for getting a child to sleep on their own? My daughter seems to do this in phases. She has, at times, been very easy to put to bed - a song, a movie or a story was all it would take. Lately though (and I suspect it has something to do with her budding perception that I can't physically MAKE her go to bed) she refuses to go to sleep unless I am there in the room with her, for several hours. This has me really in need of some time to myself, just to THINK (or write, read a book, clean my house, whatever). It also makes it difficul to get a babysitter (just family) so that I can have some time out of the house (I can't blame it all on that though, my family doesn't really care if I have a life outside of my home).

I'm planning on discussing it with her doctor at her physical next month but, I suspect the only remedy they will be able to offer is some type of medication. I've always been pretty much against medication but, in this case I would probably make an exception based on desperation alone. Since my daughter will not take medication anyway, I don't think this will be all that helpful. I don't know about other children but my daughter can smell and taste even the smallest amount of the least offensive medications in her juice (which is the only way I have ever been able to administer them). Seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm in a spy movie secretly spiking the cocktail of an advisary with truth serum then trying to appear uninterested as I wait patiently to see if she actually drinks it (if I am too eager she gets suspicious and won't touch it - she totally knows).

Case in point, my daughter has always run very high fevers when she is sick and she gets very lathargic. I have learned not to be too anxious about this over the years and just wait it out but, in the times where concern has gotten the best of me I have had to force medication into her (she won't drink at all when she gets this way). One time I brought her to the emergency room and do you know what they suggested? Motrin. Sure, I said, you give it to her. Well, with the assistance of a nurse, an orderly and her stepdad I was able to hold her down and force the motrin into her. She was three years old at the time. My daughter is now 10 years old, 5'4" and about 120 pounds... The last time we tried this approach a couple of years ago, she got none of the medicine into her system but did force herself to throw up, hyperventilate and get a nice cut on her gums from the syringe style doser thingy (I don't know what the heck you call those things).

Anyway, I guess I'm just frustrated with people who don't get it but I really would like some advice on bedtime strategies...

momo3auts · 2008-09-05 07:20:20

I had the same issues with our son Stephan who is also nonverbal and now larger than myself. I got a timer....I set it for 30 min. and read to him and sat with him, when we were 10 minutes out from the timer going off I told him "10 more minutes Stephan" then "5 more minutes Stephan" and then when it went off I said "it is time for sleep" and walked out, no big flouish, just up and left....after a week of that I shortened it to 20 minutes.....then 15.....then 10.....then 5.....now he goes on his own. It took some sternness at times on my part and made sure I underlined that when that timer goes off enough is enough and I leave and he stays....it did work even though it does take time. Her sleep pattern also may be changing due to puberty...the kids changed quite a bit when they started into puberty.
Stephan also hated the liquid meds.....finally I gave him a pill which was coated and I told him to drink, drink, drink and he did and it was gone....he's never gone back to liquids....you could try to teach her to swallow....tic tacs to begin with and see if she can do it. Like I said, Stephan is nonverbal but he'd rather swallow a pill than deal with the liquid...so you could try that.
See if there is an advocacy center in your city or nearby. They may be able to set you up with sitters that are certified and can come to your home and give you some relief. They had it in two towns we've lived in before and it really was a lifesaver. Good luck. Mary

JohnnyMac · 2008-11-24 19:02:35

I have a severally autistic nine year old son who up to a year ago would go to sleep anywhere from 7-10 p.m. We had no control over him. He went to bed when he felt like it. There's no "putting him to bed". My wife and I haven't slept together in about five years. Anyway, we finally stumbled upon liquid melitonin (a vitamin supplement, not a medicine). Our life has completely changed since he has been on it. We give it to him about 7:30 p.m. every night. By 8:00 or 8:30 with very few exceptions, he's out for the rest of the night. His body didn't produce enough??? Common in all autistic children and adults???? Who knows. We buy it for about $10.00 a bottle at Rite Aid in the vitamin department. It might not work for you, but it's worth a try. We only have a few nights a month now with a little sleeping problem. Good luck. God Bless. JohnnyMac

shannonj · 2008-11-24 19:45:16

Wynn's been on melatonin for years now. He just never could settle into sleep without it. We also give it about an hour before bedtime. We have found the time-release kind to work the best for Wynn. Good luck! Sleep is so important...

momo3auts · 2008-12-05 09:52:41

We have just had the routine at a certain time you get into PJ's, brush your teeth, wind down a bit and then go to bed. The boys transitioned from wanting to be tucked in to now just going off and doing it all themselves. In some ways I miss not tucking them in but I realize it means they are growing up, becoming independent and I know that is what's best for them...*sigh.....Mary

Aimom · 2008-12-28 22:10:45

We are still working on this one too and our son is age 12. It has been a long long transition which has been stalled for about 2 years. We now have him sleeping in his own room but I still have to stay with him until he goes to sleep. Then he will come down to our room in the early morning and get into bed with me as his dad gets up at 4:30am some days to go to work. He never gets in when his dad is there because my husband has said he can't so he will sleep on the couch until he can come in.

I just want to offer emotional support and understanding and if I hear of any strategies I will pass them on to you.

FoggyRock General Forum

#1 2008-09-05 01:28:18

Bed Time??

#2 2008-09-05 07:20:20

Re: Bed Time??

#3 2008-11-24 19:02:35

Re: Bed Time??

#4 2008-11-24 19:45:16

Re: Bed Time??

#5 2008-12-05 09:52:41

Re: Bed Time??

#6 2008-12-28 22:10:45

Re: Bed Time??

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