HOW TO INSTALL THE ULTIMATE HOME SECURITY SYSTEM



1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.



2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.



3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.



4. Leave a note on your door that reads:



Hey Bubba



Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.



Don't mess with the pit bulls-- they attacked Mom this morning and messed her up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside.


'Cooter'

A solicitor that cant Read!!! Go Figure....LOLOLOL
I think you handled that quiet well.

Diane...I agree with sonya...there are way too many waccos out there these days!!!

NRA...and dont Tread on Me Flag....LUV IT!!!!!

Kathy....I have quite a few in my family tree too....lol....and I may have even inherited a trait or too....lol

I am sure they would think twice. I have a window decal that says trespassers will be shot. I also have a beware of dog and no trespassing sign on my gate. Believe it or not I still had a young salesmen knock on my door. Halfway thru his spill he asked how he was doing. I said "fine except for I have a beware of dog and no trespassing sign on my gate. You are lucky my dog is inside", LOL. Maybe he couldn't read but he got the point.

4muskateers don't leave your door unlocked what if the perv is in your house when you come home and kills you!!! There are a bunch of waccos out there that are looking for more than things to steal.

I find leaving my Pick-up truck in the driveway helps. An NRA sticker on the door & a box of empty shot gun shells & empty 40 of bud, next to the lawn chair helps too. If, I am gone for a couple of days I fly the don't tread on me flag. I live in CA so the dixie flag can't fly. My dog is a shepherd mix looks & barks real mean like.

I love a good redneck joke cause I believe I come from a long line of them. That was funny.

I've got to try this! Maybe a recording of banjo music wafting out from inside would be good, too???

I rather leave the doors unlocked, see after my deductatble, I still have to the windows or doors put back in just to be broke again, so I figure if the doors are open, the theifs might think there is nothing worth taking...

About all the Caps...I just C&P...but thought it was too funny not to share! And well if you all are like me these days....its good to have something to laugh about.