Our family is a "blended family" I'm the step mom and primary caregiver to 2 great ASD young men (14 and 16). Plus - I am the birth mom to a son (13) and daughter (17). As you can guess, my life is somewhat busy.

My duaghter, my loving, smart, beautiful daughter turned into a selfish bratty teenager over the summer. She announced that she wanted to go live with dad. (Afterall, the grass is always greener on the other side, right?) When pressed for a "Why?" she fumbled with many different excuses, but the one that just blew me away was, "I want to move to dad's because living with Brian is disruptive and stressful."

You know what, she's right. But, it is also rewardiing and a part of our life - and in my world it is also called FAMILY!

So, since my daughter is being a typical teenaged girl, I've decided to allow her to move in with her dad and step-mom. My heart is broken, but I know that one day she will look back and realize what a major mistake she has made. Until then, pass the box of tissues.

My husband is trying to do his best to be supportive and loving. But, he is hurting too. He has raised our daughter since she was 7 yrs old. He feels that it is his fault that I am hurting, that because of his son, my daughter has moved away. We are working through it all.

I will admit this is one thing that I never, EVER imagined would happen.

Regards ~
Kim

I hope things get better for you and your daughter. I think your making some very difficult decisions...but I also think in the end, it will come out like your hoping for....the waiting just sucks!

With behavior like you describe from your ex and his wife, your daughter will return, and soon!

I went through this with our daughter too...I sent her with her dad, and two months later I came home from work to find a note from my husband Jesus, that said "Adriana called and wants to come home, so I have gone to pick her up"...he drove 3 hours up north to bring my ungreatful daughter home...Oh yes greener on the other side...yea!!!but the other side is full of green WEEDS!!!!! she'll be back too, just wait and see...hugs and prayer too.

Thanks for all the kind notes. I know that one day she (my daughter) will look back and realize how much she has hurt me - and the mistake she has made. But until then, I am trying to keep a smile in place.

She dropped in last night (to bring some papers to her younger brother). She asked what we were doing this wkend. Then she told me that "Dad and step-mom are going to be away, so could she come here for the weekend?" Oh yeah!! (doing a high fives and happy dances in my head) It won't take many of these (we are too busy for you) incidences for her to see that her dad's house isn't what she thought it would be like. (or at least that is my hope!) My ex-husband and his wife recently went through an ordeal - her 18 yr old daughter died from leukemia in June. During the months prior to the 18 yr old's death (and while she was in ICU) my ex and his wife (the birth mom of the 18 yr old) went to opening day at a baseball game (4 hrs away), they went to Chicago for the wkend (6 hrs away) and they flew to Las Vegas. . . so, if they were willing to leave a child while she is on her death-bed, I know they will have little guilt leaving my healthy daughter for junkets away while they go play. I know it is only a matter of time - it just hurts and with everyday that passes, I know it will take us that much longer to heal all the wounds.

Thanks once more for all the concern and well wishes.

Have a Happy Day!

Hey I remember being a teenager and if there was somewhere I could have gone to get away from my stupid mom (little did i know who was REALLY stupid...) I would have done it. She has the option... My sister went through this a couple of years ago with her son. He lived with her and her hubby and decided it was time to live with Dad (no ASD sibling). He also rejected her in other ways too. She just made herself available - reached out but didn't push - and after he stretched his wings, they have reconnected. He still lives with his dad but they have a very nice relationship. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this - please try to remember that a pod person has entered her body and she's no longer human.... ;-) HUGS

I'm so sorry! Well, I think you're being a really kind, understanding mother by letting her try out the other household. She'll find out that every home has its problems, and most of them have nothing to do with ASD. This is nobody's fault, I hope that neither you nor your husband take it that way. One way or another, she'll be back. Sending you a virtual hug! Hang in there.

That is a tough situation. Well it ain't over & done until it is. I feel for your husband too as tough situation for him to feel.

I have 2 asd kids 14 and 16 and my 14 would jump ship in a second if he could 99% of the time. They are so different, and my older son and him and he have opp interests and the 14 y/o similarliy enough, grew into a more"typical" teen" this summer and we've had our share of issues over boundaries. Luckily, our relatives live too far away, and he is stuck with me!

Thoughts and hugs to you and your husband, but as the previous post said, this very well could have happened even without ASD kids in your home.

Good Luck.

The grass is Always greener on the other side especially for teenagers. She may have come to the decision even if she didn't have a step bro. with Autism. I remember all too well being the bratty teenager and hurting my Mom in a similiar fashion. She may soon realize living with Dad is not the same as visiting and decide she wants to come back home. Try not to take it personal (I know easier said than done).