making all the choices that concern Chad's life. I mean the little ones are easy but when it comes to which therapies or which school program. When it comes to trying to decided which medication I should put him on. I have no one else that has the vested interest in him. No one else is going to have to care for him. When it is time to find him a place to live - when I can't do it any longer all of that will be on me. His father isn't in the picture and we haven't heard from him in years. I'm not mad any longer at him - it's just sad for Chad. and I always feel that if I fail him - if I make the wrong choice about something - then really it's all on me. This scares me to death.

Sorry to hear the dad is not much help, support, & whatever you want to insert HERE. Your right his loss. Anyway, you know I don't have too much time for dating either but, I pick the people out very wisely. And, I do let them know in short time. If they run or baulk I don't want them anyway. Most of all welcome to our group

Hello
I am new to this group, but I am not new to being single. My daughter is 5 now, and the ex- husband has been out of the picture for 4 years now. He said he felt from the beginning that something "was wrong" with her, and he is afraid to be around her. We havent talked to him since July 2006- thats his choice. He has missed out on all of the diagnoses, the IEP process, the fun of having a meltdown everywhere we go. But he has also missed out on her progress and how much she has changed in the last two years. She has gone from completely non verbal to speaking around 75-100 words. I have come to the conclusion that it is HIS loss, and theres no need to dwell on him being missing from her life. I take one day at a time and have moved on. I even bought a SUV ! LOL
It is hard to start dating, because I dont know whether to tell someone right at the start that she is disabled, or to feel the guy out first to see how he reacts to kids and then let him in on the disabled part. I have dated a few times, but it just takes up too much of my time. Thanks for letting me join this group and I hope to get to know you all better soon. HUGS :)

Jake9068 may have the right idea. When I start thinking of his life, after I'm gone. I brake down.

I've had to live with Mickie's diagnosis for over 8 years now and it doesn't get any easier. Never feel bad for feeling sad. We love our kids no matter what, but Autism is crappy!

I cry too and it's okay to cry.

What you said is priceless... Yes, I have to constantly be making my point, stating my position, explaining, avoiding suspicion with my parenting partner. It can be a pain in the azz at times. ;)

You know I am not a single decison maker as Liv's mom is an active parenting partner. But, I tell you what even having a partner I don't think it really makes a huge difference. We still wonder are we doing the right things at the right times for the right reasons. I guess what I am saying is that no matter what it is tough. @ Phil I saw your comment below that was so heart felt. I know exactly what you mean & feel

Thank you both for you support. It's nice to know that I am not alone with these feelings. Sometimes I wonder why after all these years I can still cry for days. I also talk to God and I know that I am never really alone - that's what gets me thru.. thanks again

I also am a single parent raising a child with autism. His mother is still in the picture, she gets him 3 weekends a month. That can cause more behavior problem sometimes than it is worth. But he is her child as well, I have to let go some of the time.
When I'm alone, on the weekends, sometimes I just spend a whole day crying. It helps me re-charge to purge myself of all the sorrow around autism.
Also, I like to seek silence and solitude. Then I pray. I talk to God about what I'm feeling. Then I try to sit in silence and listen. I don't always get answers, but I always get peace.
May peace be with you,
Phil Morgan

Just take one day at a time. I try to remember the plus side of being the sole decision maker----I don't have to argue about what course to follow. It is a tough position to be in. I just take 1 day and 1 decision at a time and follow my instinct. I am trying to make a school decision right now.