State: West Yorkshire
Country: United Kingdom
Member since: Mar 25, 2008
Last logged in: Dec 02, 2008
Hi everyone I am Tracy a married 36 yr old mum of two boys with Asd. My 6 year old Zak has aspergers and my 4 year old Kai, has more complex autism with alot of additional sensory needs. It can be quite challenging having two boys at opposite ends of the spectrum but our family are very supportive and especially my husband Lee, who is my rock in times of need.
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Crofty's Compositions
by Crofty on 03.27.08 - public - 164 visits
My husband's parents have offered to have their grandchildren for a whole week so that we can have a holiday, just the two of us for our wedding anniversary. They see the children regularly and have just asked that we chose a week that isn't a school holiday to keep things easier.
We're going in May but I'm starting to panic. Our 4 year old Kai can be quite challenging, he is non-verbal and extremely sensory but as long as he is getting his needs met, it doesn't matter who by!
Our 6 year old Zak is very routine led and clingy especially to his dad, I just don't know how we are going to explain to him.
I'm sure we are going to feel extremely guilty as we have never let them stay anywhere else over night, but we so desperately need a break.
Comments(16)
Crofty
Posted on Thu, 27 Mar 2008
Wow everyone, I want to let you know how all your wonderful comments and ideas have totally blown me away. I feel ten feet tall at the moment and totally overwhelmed by your support. What a fantastic community of people. RESPECT. I think I will probably read your comments over and over they are great. Love to you all.
lilbitofky
Posted on Thu, 27 Mar 2008
Oh Bless your heart. I am sooo excited for you to have some time away! Don't you dare feel guilty for getting away you need and deserve time as a couple away to reconnect and spend one on one time together. We all here as the parents of the greatest kids in the world still need to spend time with our husbands/wives alone by ourselves and just enjoy each other. We don't want to be one of those couples who don't make it through this journey of marriage. So our husbands and we as wives need to know how important we are to one another. I wish we were all so lucky to be able to get away for an entire week by ourselves. But then we might all be a bucket of nerves LOL! You as a Mother will know how to approach your sweet children to break the news. I will be praying that you enjoy every breathe away from home and every moment with your husband make the most of it and enjoy each moment of relaxation that you can get. God Bless You and let us know how it goes!
lilbitofky
Posted on Thu, 27 Mar 2008
Oh Bless your heart. I am sooo excited for you to have some time away! Don't you dare feel guilty for getting away you need and deserve time as a couple away to reconnect and spend one on one time together. We all here as the parents of the greatest kids in the world still need to spend time with our husbands/wives alone by ourselves and just enjoy each other. We don't want to be one of those couples who don't make it through this journey of marriage. So our husbands and we as wives need to know how important we are to one another. I wish we were all so lucky to be able to get away for an entire week by ourselves. But then we might all be a bucket of nerves LOL! You as a Mother will know how to approach your sweet children to break the news. I will be praying that you enjoy every breathe away from home and every moment with your husband make the most of it and enjoy each moment of relaxation that you can get. God Bless You and let us know how it goes!
shannonj
Posted on Thu, 27 Mar 2008
The first few times I left my kids I thought I was going to have nervous breakdown. I cried for hours--truly. But my kids were fine and my mom--who was caring for them, was totally capable and honored that I allowed her the responsibility. If you think it might be difficult for your parents to give your kids all the time and attention they require, why don't you do a few things to help them out beforehand. 1) you could do some shopping and cooking for your mom so that she won't have to spend time doing that while you are gone. You can freeze meals that can just be reheated. 2) You can maybe hire someone to come over to their house to do some laundry and cleaning to free them up again. 3) you could even hire a beloved babysitter to come over one night and sit your kids while your parents go out for a date night---or if that isn't possible, maybe put together a date-night kit for your parents to use once the kids are in bed (including microwave popcorn, movie etc...)
AWETISM
Posted on Thu, 27 Mar 2008
Wow alot of comments that must mean we all can relate in some way. I know I have enjoyed all the breaks I have received. ENJOY yourself!! Have a fun time! Welcome to foggyrock too!!!
KevinLivsDad
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
Go get roudy.. 80% of ASD impacted marriages end in divorce. And, you can see how.. So, beat the odds & get ROWDY have some fun.. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY.. Easier said than done I know. ;) Even angels take a breaks...
4muskateers
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
Happy for you both...having family around must really mean alot...the family I have I gave birth to, so we do the best we can...we have a few friends that we feel good leaving the boys with...we will usually be gone for only 2 days and 1 night. Have fun...try to recall the days of no children...I can't remember one anymore. All the suggestion were right on target for everything we have read about...Prayers your way and blessings too.
cjkellie
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
wow this is why I love this place - there are some wonderful ideas here. The only other thing I could think of is to maybe have the kids stay overnight once before your trip. That may help if they are willing to do it. But no matter what you deserve this trip. I believe it makes us better parents when we teach our kids how to be with others. You know they are safe and loved. and think of it as teaching them and you will feel better about it..lol.. hope you have a great time
Crofty
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
Not worrying isn't one of my strong points but I know logically that's what I will have to try and do. We're lucky we have been given the chance to have time away, not everyone does.
Colette123
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
They will be fine. Just try to have a good time and make the most of your time alone. It is a great to get rejuvenated both for you and for your kids. We went away in Jan. for 5 days and my in-laws did great and the kids were great. Just enjoy that someone is offering to give you time away!
slhh130
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
Just try not to worry and enjoy yourselves a little. That way you will come back refreshed. We all need a refresher!
MyEverest
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
First I agree with a social stories, they are great, and I might even add to place a calendar with a picture of you and your husband on it. You can tape the picture on the day you will be returning. So your children can look at it and they will know how many days are left until your arrival. Have fun.
Crofty
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
Hi guys, thanks for your comments, hopefully I will try and look at it more positively that we will be nice and refreshed when we get home and rareing to get back to parenting again. Zak is really into Thomas The Tank Engine so the story idea could work really well. Thanks for the idea it's great how sometimes the obvious isn't always obvious to your self! Cheers
tabaithasteward
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
Please enjoy your trip u so much need it all couples do so they can reconnect. And I love carmel66's sugestion i'm gonna use it!!!
carmel66
Posted on Wed, 26 Mar 2008
Maybe you can get some help with Zak clingy-ness by writing a social story about mom and dad spending time together and gram and pop pop spending time with them. Actually when we did our first social story we started with the life event we wanted to explain but with characters my son loved - the Teletubbies. We went through the story, made it fun with lots of silly expressions. Then the dolls acted it out. And then we pulled out a story that included my son and his family. This was over a period of weeks. He does well with social stories - so if Zak doesn't you may need another approach. Good for you for getting away. It's good you have a week - you will feel guilty and edgy for four days and then have a couple of days to relax. Have fun.
