State: West Yorkshire
Country: United Kingdom
Member since: Mar 25, 2008
Last logged in: Dec 02, 2008
Hi everyone I am Tracy a married 36 yr old mum of two boys with Asd. My 6 year old Zak has aspergers and my 4 year old Kai, has more complex autism with alot of additional sensory needs. It can be quite challenging having two boys at opposite ends of the spectrum but our family are very supportive and especially my husband Lee, who is my rock in times of need.
Favorite Compositions (0)
Crofty's Compositions
by Crofty on 05.05.08 - public - 125 visits
Hi everyone, I'm sorry to say that I'm having a low day to day, caused by several things I think.
Firstly we got some melatonin inported from the states and gave it to Kai for the first time on Friday night, it worked really well and he fell asleep pretty quickly and slept all night. My husband and I were over the moon!!
Saturday night was a disaster though, Kai fell asleep but unfortunately his brother Zak accidently woke him up. This left Kai extremely upset and for three and a half hours I was on my own and anxiously trying to calm him. He was frantically rubbing his legs and feet in a stressed kind of way and was just getting more worked up if I tried to intervene. I felt total despair at the time and I hate to say it but I lost my patience and smacked him, which I feel absolutely terrible about now. I'm annoyed with myself for not staying strong and calm.
There are no excuses but I think the reason I didn't cope was a build up of everything we are going through at the moment. My husband and I are so busy, tired and stressed and have had a taster of one good night's sleep but are scared that's it for our good fortune!
My husband is extremely busy at work and this is taking it's toll on everyone. We argue most of the time. He is working long hrs to try and get in front as we have a wks spa break booked for our anniversary (just the two of us) on the 13th May. Ironically we are not looking forward to our first ever overnight break from the kids as we are not getting on!!!!
Grandma is looking after the boys and has constantly had to reassure us they will cope - I do believe they will, probably alot better than we do!!
I feel a total failure at the moment, sorry I just needed to get this off my chest, I can't talk to anyone else about it right now, especially my husband he just gets mad!!!
Comments(7)
tabaithasteward
Posted on Sun, 4 May 2008
Been there done that!!! I believe we all have. Just remember we are here for you also. Marriage is hard for everyone its even harder for parents in our shoes. I'm thinking the marriage issues you are having must be in the air cause its been hard here also. Give your self a hug for me.
noaholiviaian
Posted on Sun, 4 May 2008
I know it isn't right, but I'm amazed we don't lost it more often with our children. I think it is harder to control those frustrations when it is your own child and not a patient, client, student, etc. If you are giving melatonin in 1 or more mg doses, try reducing it down to .5 mg. He should be getting only what he needs to fall asleep and stay asleep. I wonder if the melatonin dose had anything to do with his reaction to being woken up (or is he always that way)? I'll bet we've all done what you've done... or come darned close... or worse. There are some times when a shock to the system breaks the anxiety or tantrum (cold water, smack, yell, etc). I'm not telling you NOT to feel bad because I would feel bad, too. Just learn from it.
KevinLivsDad
Posted on Sun, 4 May 2008
The sleepless nights, stress etc. I have been there too. Esp. when I am up at 3am & have a big day at work. It is SO hard. Sometimes I have to walk out of the room sit down in the dark & just pray for strength & recovery. We are not perfect parents. But, it takes a lot. As soon as it is possible do something crazy do something for yourself. Take care of your marriage the best you can. Chin up & take 5 :)
Motherof4
Posted on Sun, 4 May 2008
Oh, hon, I'm so sorry. None of us can be calm, strong, patient and wise at all times, and especially not when we're sleep-deprived and stressed out. I really do know just how you feel. You are NOT a total failure. You messed up ONCE. Forgive yourself for not being a supernatural being. When you can be patient with yourself, you'll find that it's easier to be patient with others. 4muskateers is right, just give yourself permission to take a recovery day, or even two. Take care of yourself, treat yourself as if you had the flu-- you are exhausted in spirit. Just relax, as much as you can, and ask less of yourself for a day or two. If you're a praying type of person, pray for a peaceful heart. Pray for solace, comfort. If you're not a praying type of person, just meditate on these things. And hang in there. We're all on your side.
janneane7
Posted on Sun, 4 May 2008
I have been in your shoes, up with Andy in the middle of the night him flipping out and me loosing control because I just want to go to sleep! I've also been in the not getting along with your mate place too and frankly it sucks. It is so important to get away, and when you do just try to remember and think about what drew you to him when you first thought he is the one!!! The other thing I found that really helped us when things got very bad was to just be poilte. Most of the time I had to grit my teeth while I was doing it but it paid off big time in the end. Just remember that you are perfect and you aren't alone!!! Give yourself a break and give yourself some kudos too... we all work so hard and often are too hard on ourselfs Take care
4muskateers
Posted on Sun, 4 May 2008
Honey, make a cup of hot camamille tea, and just sit and relax as you watch the kids do their thing...everything will fall into place later...get picked up and put away too...try and find a book called Just Enough Light for the Step I am on, by O Martian...it is a really good book to keep you going...
