State: Minnesota
Country: USA
Member since: Jul 14, 2008
Last logged in: Aug 30, 2008
My name is Shauna and I am a sahm to 6 kids, with #7 on the way in November. My husband, Tim, and our kids and myself live in rural Minnesota and our 4 year old daughter, Madison, was recently diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. We suspected something was amiss about her behaviors for some time before we finally got the diagnosis, but out here in MN, things take a while to get done, which can be frustrating. Our kids are Christopher, 17 (my son from a previous marriage), Alexander, 11, Immanuelle, 8, Annabelle, 6, Maddie (4 and who has ASD), Jayden, 2, and Aiden, who is due to be born in early November this year. In addition to being a sahm I am also an avid reader and writer, as well as a published poet. I am here to get to know other people and families who are in similar situations to our own. I think we have a long road ahead of us but we hope, hope, hope!
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ShaunainMN's Compositions
by ShaunainMN on 07.30.08 - public - 101 visits
Last night was not a good night for Maddie. I try every day to make the necessary allowances for her, so that she is happy...or at least not miserable. But the fact is there are 5 other kids here who need and deserve my attention, and who have a right to not have their lives dictated by their Autistic sibling's issues. There are days that go well, moments that we manage. But the general concensus is that its a hard road, and its pretty much all uphill. My other children did not ask for this. I know Maddie didn't either.
I am working on getting a meeting set up to discuss Maddie's IEP with the new school all the kids will be attending this Fall. I am hopeful because she will have ECSE (early childhood special eduation) 4 times a week, and be pulled out twice a week for OT, which is a big part of what I believe will help her to succeed and improve. There is also the possibility that she can go to a kindergarten connection class twice a week, which will help better prepare her for what lies ahead after pre-k.
Next summer we are planning to move to Pennsylvania (we are from NJ originally and have always moved around a lot, so this is no great change for us in terms of relocating *again*) PA just passed the strongest law in the nation requring insurance companies to cover those services that so often work for those with ASD, such as ABA. Also they have a pro Autism approach to education. And based on my research, that puts them ahead of the game compared to other states (such as MN, where we live now)
Comments(6)
ADifferentDrummer
Posted on Fri, 1 Aug 2008
I worked with a large family with many kids and one way they helped the other children was giving them an "alone time" with Mom or Dad. The parents made sure each child got to leave the house and do something fun with Mom or Dad each month while the other parent tended the other children. It did not have to be anything expensive - picnics, trips to the playground, a journey to the dollar store with a $5.00 bill, a walk in the woods - it depended on the age of the child and what they liked. It was also a time that the kids were able to ask any question they wanted about their sibling - and express any frustrations. It really helped the other kids and pulled the family back together. I dont know if this is something you would be able to do - just and idea. Deb
shannonj
Posted on Thu, 31 Jul 2008
It is exhausting caring for children--especially when you are pulled between the needs of your daughter and all your other children...I don't know about you, but I am always feeling guilty because there is just not enough of me to go around....Try to take care of yourself and take things just one day at a time. Sounds like you really have some good things in place, and having her at school where her needs are getting met, will give you a chance to focus on other things for a bit each day....Hang in there.
frogfoot1969
Posted on Wed, 30 Jul 2008
I have heard wonderful things about PA and special needs. I hope that if you move you can stay there permanently because I am sure moving is difficult with such a large family and change is even harder for Maddie. Good luck.
PeterPan
Posted on Wed, 30 Jul 2008
Sorry you had a bad night. IT sounds like you have a lot of things in place for a successful IEP. Hope she gets everything you plan to ask for in her new school.
Motherof4
Posted on Wed, 30 Jul 2008
I'm sorry last night was frustrating, but you're exactly right, things are not hopeless. Our oldest child is on the spectrum, and our three younger children (am I crazy? It's been said...) are some of the most compassionate people I know. It's good of you to try to balance their needs with Maddie's. In the ASD families close to me here, those that don't do that end up with very, very angry NT kids. So. It's hard to be on everybody's side, isn't it? Still, it's the right thing to do.
striving
Posted on Wed, 30 Jul 2008
I'm so sorry you had a bad night last night. I know words can't make things better, so I'm at somewhat of a loss as to what to type. Does your area have sib shops where brothers and sisters of autistics get together and talk about their feelings and have fun together? We have them here in North Carolina. IF you area dose not maybe you could find out how to start it where you live. I know the day to day of life is just plain hard. Hope your day today goes better. Sounds as if Maddie's school is making good plans for her.
