I have been off line for a few weeks, shoveling, dealing with delayed openings and 25 five year olds so very happy, or not, to be together, cleaning out drawers and closets and juggling my own 4 kids. (Please note - just because they grow up, doesn't mean they go away, or you need any less hair color...NT or not.)

What I have mostly been doing is getting ready for my move into starting my RDI training next week, reading, learning, listening. It's very much like -If You Give A Mouse a Cookie. You know the story; if you give mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk to go with it. If you give him the milk, he's going to want a napkin. If you give him a napkin, he's going to want to look in the mirror. And so it goes. With this change of career - and specifically going into RDI, albeit, initially, I already see the need to know how to adapt my skills to address each child with their own fingerprint of needs and personality.

I want to support the children. The variety of needs of our children make me realize not just the importance of implementing the RDI approach, but also to need to apply the SCERTS model, and be well versed in ABA, and be able to provide any other therapy and support that would best teach that unique child. It's kind of overwhelming on this side of the fence as well. I want to help steer these children to become the people they were meant to be...and be proud of the people they are.

I want to support the families. I hear parents speak of the difficulties with school systems, teachers, therapists, of the challenges and joys of homeschooling, of the struggle to eek out the funds, patience and energy that's required to raise their child as best they can. Many of my families are single parents, parents who are struggling to keep together, or couples who have used this experience as a bonding agent - creating a strong, permanent support. I want to figure out - what is the most important thing for their parental needs? Is it public education availability and equality? Is it affordable, accessible, articulated and coordinated services? Is it a shoulder, an ear - or both? I want to "get it" - what do you want, what comes first? I want to be of good use.

I want to educate and support the public school system - the classroom teacher. So many times I feel fortunate to be working with my Amazing Special Ed. Team, and yet, after reading some entries, I wonder if we are the exception, and not the rule. Even though we are good, we need to be so much better. That can only come from community support, which translates into school boards, which in turn travels to administrative decision making - and ultimately change. We need to change our approach and understanding of children on the spectrum. I repeat myself when I say that we need to provide teachers with the teaching, training and support them to better teach, understand, and accept - yes accept these children for who they are...not their diagnosis. In doing so, we remove the fear some teachers have. I would like to help the teachers gain courage and confidence.

And so it goes...the cookie factor.

So the real reason I've been off line? I've been doing what I do best - clean closets, bake something no one will eat, shovel - again, and really, really avoid. I have been avoiding thinking about what I'm about to embark...I want to do it all - and I know I can't. This is where I'm the most vulnerable - when I think I can't.

The first story I read every year - for the past 20 years to my kindergarten is The Little Engine That Could. It is from this that we, as a class, make our first motto, write our first book, and read our first words. Two words stand at the focal point of our room - I Can. So - the drawers are done, the driveway is clear for now, and the kids can do their own laundry. It's time. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.