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Mrs.H. - "Passion!"

City: small
State: live free or die
Country: USA
Member since: Jan 12, 2008
Last logged in: Nov 27, 2008

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Mrs.H.'s Page URL

http://www.foggyrock.com/MyPage/Mrs.H.

Mrs.H.'s Bio

I get to write this a second time - the first one didn't stick - maybe for good reason. I have been a teacher for thirty years. I have taught in inner cities, suburban areas, and rural communities. I have been a Reading Recovery Specialist, ESL, bilingual, and regular ed. classroom teacher. I have spent 20 years in kindergarten, and 12 of those designing a three and four year old curriculum. There's not much about play dough, or bodily fluids that I don't know. Four years ago Bud and his mom, May, came into my classroom. I have had children on the spectrum for years, more towards the Asperger end, but not someone like Bud. It was love at first sight. I love all my kids - but Bud was someone with whom I felt a connection - as was his mom. Since then, I have gone down this path of autism. Since that year, I have had 6 more children on the very wide range of the spectrum. I am working my hardest to try to "get it" and develop the best program and practices I can within our public school. I am fortunate to have an amazingly supportive special education team at work. I am, however, leaving teaching at the end of this year to pursue my passion. I never did get that Master's degree right out of college, because I was either having children of my own (4 of them), or happily teaching and waiting to see what my passion - my "special purpose" (think Steve Martin) would be. He, Bud - not Steve - walked in my room four years ago...actually, we had it planned that he would walk BY it many times over the summer to see me and the room in a variety of stages until he was ready to cross that threshold for the first time - albeit VERY briefly, and go IN. My passion: I have been attending a variety of workshops for the past two years, and have narrowed myself for the time being to get certified in RDI, as well as go through the SCERTS model in more depth. These two protocols make sense to me at the moment. My goal is to "bring it to the masses" - back to the classrooms to help others "get it"...and to work with these kids - these great kids. That's me - "There are lives I can imagine without children but none of them have the same laughter & noise." (Story People)

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Mrs.H.'s Compositions

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

by Mrs.H. on 11.05.08 - public

I love children's books, all children's books. I find that I often can relate the story to something in my life whether past or present. That's how it...

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I love children's books, all children's books. I find that I often can relate the story to something in my life whether past or present. That's how it is with Laura Numeroff's book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.  In this story, the mouse asks for a cookie.  If you’re going to give him a cookie, he’s going to want a glass of milk.  Of course, if you give him a glass of milk, he’s going to want a napkin, then to see his milk mustache, then to trim a stray hair….  You can almost see the domino effect tumble, can’t you?

I have 27 messages in mailbox, and I feel guilty for not having gotten to them yet.  I have been living with my own mouse wanting a cookie, pushing those dominoes,  and that is my RDI training.  The more I don’t know the more I research.  The more I research the more I learn.  The more I learn, the more I realize what I don’t know.  And so it goes.

First, may I report that given my personality and teaching style, I really like the RDI remediation process and protocol.    It makes developmental sense, it takes the child’s personality into account, and it is strongly grounded in best practices and well-documented theory and research.  It is for those exact reasons as well, that I find myself in that never-ending cycle.  The nuances of each developmental step, and each unique and individual person demand the design and development of complex remedial planning and analysis.  It is delicate and intricate work, and I often feel like the bull in the china shop.

Second, it has been amazing work, in that I can put my focus and thought processes on one particular child or family at a time.  As a classroom teacher, that was a luxury.  As in my own home, I would come home each day with a handful of children on my mind to muddle over challenges or opportunities for them, only to have to lay them aside the next day to think of the next handful.  I now walk around with “my families” in my head all the time.  It’s them, and only them.  There is satisfaction in going deep, not wide.
So…if you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to want a glass of milk.  If you give a teacher RDI training, she’s going to want to know more.  I’ll get to those messages eventually, but I wanted to thank you for keeping me in your loop.

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A Rose By Any Other Name

by Mrs.H. on 08.13.08 - public

A Rose by Any Other Name

There are moments in time when I wonder what’s really important in life. Truth and laughter are two characteristics that g...

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A Rose by Any Other Name

There are moments in time when I wonder what’s really important in life. Truth and laughter are two characteristics that give life foundation.  Without truth one would live in perpetual uncertainty and fear.  The shoe would be waiting to drop, and you would be constantly bracing yourself for the fall.  Laughter is what gives the foundation the flexibility to go with the flow, shift with change and undulate with joy.  These are important for life to actually be lived with potential.

The last two weeks I have been continuing my research and climbing my learning curve for my RDI consultant in training process.  Even though I continue to look for a supervision family, I have been fortunate enough to begin working with two other families.  Part of my training is to conduct one full assessment on a neurotypical child to demonstrate a baseline and comparison of the differences between a child on the spectrum and one who isn’t…a typical child.  I also have conducted baselines for other children who are not “typical”.

What I have come away with doing these assessments is that neurotypical and autistic children are the same in that there is a truth about them.   The truth is that they are all vulnerable to the possibilities that life holds for them, both good and not so good.  They are the truth – they are genuine, individual and unique, and deserving of opportunities to reach their potential, and not settle for the potential that may be prescribed.

I know a student who perceives himself as a lousy reader, and very good in mathematics.  His perception is deeply rooted, and for years he would struggle with his comprehension, and reading fluency. What he didn’t know was that all testing indicators showed his strengths lay in his comprehension, and that even though he was only in fourth grade, his reading ability was at a 12+-grade level.  Reading the actual words was a challenge for him, so he always relied on listening to all his books on tape.  He could recite, by memory, more classics - Trumpet of the Swan, Charlotte’s Web, and years later, entire chapters of the Harry Potter series.  Yet, he still saw himself as a failure as a reader, and only “good in math.”  While, his math scores were never revealed to him, his reading scores were.  It was a challenge to convince him of his skills  - but once he saw the “results” in black and white, his perception changed….and so did his self esteem, and ultimately - demonstration of performance.  What if he had known about his “deficits” in mathematics?  Would those “results” have changed his perception, and therefore his performance?  Perception is his reality.

At this time of year, I share as much as I can to my previous year’s students successes, challenges, and any intricacies that I believe would help both teacher and child in the following year.  I am careful to pass on my perceptions, to hopefully transfer my reality that what we need to expect from these children are their abilities – wherever they are with them.  To have an understanding of whom that child is, what is, in actuality, their truth.  To know the spots to look forward to the laughter that child will bring into the classroom.  These things I share for all my students – because, at the end of the day – they are all the same…just different.

As I watched the tapes of the baseline assessments of both the NT and the NO (“neuraloriginal” – my term) children, they were true, and authentic, and their joy and their personalities made me laugh.  They are important, and deserve the same perception of potential.

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Layers

by Mrs.H. on 07.21.08 - public

This was today's entry on Garrison Keilor's Writer's Almanac...it resounded in me...

Monday
Jul. 21, 2008

The Writer's Almanac with Garrison...

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This was today's entry on Garrison Keilor's Writer's Almanac...it resounded in me...
 	
Monday
Jul. 21, 2008
	
The Writer's Almanac with Garrison Keillor
 LISTEN
	
The Layers

by Stanley Kunitz

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
"Live in the layers,
not on the litter."
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

"The Layers" by Stanley Kunitz from The Collected Poems. © W.W. Norton, 2000. Reprinted with permission.

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Here and Now

by Mrs.H. on 07.18.08 - public

Below is a response to a radio broadcast I was listening to today. It was on one of my favorite shows...because I'm a radio geek - there you have it....

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Below is a response to a radio broadcast I was listening to today.  It was on one of my favorite shows...because I'm a radio geek - there you have it...Here and Now.  If you get a chance, listen to an archive of today's show and see if you had the same response.

To Robin Young, from Here and Now:
I appreciated today's topic Teen Mental Health and hospitals/facilities, but was concerned by a comment by Carrie Goldberg from the Boston Globe.  In addressing the reasons as to why these teens with mental health issues were not finding placement, she tossed out the comment of, "...well maybe they were autistic, and there was no good place for them."  I believe the focus was on mental health and mental illness.  Autism is not a mental illness.  Autism is a neurological information processing disorder.  People on the autism spectrum demonstrate core deficits.  This is a disorder - not an illness (read- "disease".)  I fear, as a teacher and an autism consultant, that this type of statement in the media, especially in these days of the "autism buzz words", continues to perpetuate the myths and misconceptions regarding autism.  Thanks for taking this into consideration.

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Calling all families...

by Mrs.H. on 07.16.08 - public

Hi all,
I have an All Points Bulletin…
As many of you know, I have begun my certification process in RDI, (Relationship Development Intervention). ...

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Hi all,
I have an All Points Bulletin…
As many of you know, I have begun my certification process in RDI, (Relationship Development Intervention).  RDI is a parent- based intervention that addresses the core deficits of autism.  (This is particularly exciting to me because of the developmental focus, and especially with the new thoughts put out by Harvard.)  During the approximately 18-month training, I work with two supervisory families, assisted by my own supervisor throughout the entire process.  I was all set with my families, but unfortunately, the main supervision family is not available at present.  So, in short – I’m searching for a new family.  I live in central New Hampshire, and am seeking a family with a child who is diagnosed on any part of the autism spectrum, knows just a bit (or more) about RDI, or is willing to learn, and is interested in working with me throughout the next 18 months.

I have all sorts of information about RDI, and would be very willing to talk to you if you would be interested.  I know that cost is always a stumbling block, of course.  During my Consultant in Training process I am charging families to just cover the rental fee for my church, and the cost of having my family on the RDI operating system, (RDIos).  If you are interested in finding out more about  RDI, you can check out the RDI website at www.connectionscenter.com, or feel free to contact me.

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In a Land Far Away

by Mrs.H. on 07.15.08 - public

In a Land Far Away
by on 07.15.08 - public - 0 visits

In a land far away there was a teacher who heard the call to change her job and follow her p...

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In a Land Far Away
by on 07.15.08 - public - 0 visits

In a land far away there was a teacher who heard the call to change her job and follow her passion. She's still working that all out, but in the meantime knew that a huge chunk of her passion led to working with this group of people with whom she feels a connection. This led her in search of ways to support these kids and their families, and has started with the first protocol she would pursue - RDI. She has been to the land of giant Texans, and has started the CRAZY-BUSY-THIS-IS-A-HUGE-LEARNING-CURVE-BUT-OH-SO-INTERESTING-AND-EXCITING
path of certification. As I sat through classes, and read more and more research and theory, and listened to the latest finding out of Harvard, she was wowed at how the Gutstein/Sheely team seemed to marry theory, practice, parenting and common sense into this protocol...she was amazed - and a bit overwhelmed. She has her first three families and is forging ahead. The RDI gurus say it's a journey, a puzzle, a marathon...and she is glad she's on it. She sends her best, has not fallen off the earth, and looks forward to reading what everyone has had to say these days.

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Dear Teacher...touchstone

by Mrs.H. on 06.05.08 - public

Here it is, my launch pad, as appeared in the mid 1970's from the Pasedena Star News.

Dear teacher,” My young son starts school today…it’s all goin...

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Here it is, my launch pad, as appeared in the mid 1970's from the Pasedena Star News.

Dear teacher,” My young son starts school today…it’s all going to be strange and new to him for a while….and I wish you treat him gently.  
You see, up to now, he’s been king of the roost…he’s been boss of the backyard…his mother has always been around to repair his wounds, and I’ve been handy to soothe his feelings.

But now things are going to be different…this morning he’s going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand, and start out on a great adventure…it’s an adventure that will probably include wars and tragedy and sorrow….to live his life  in the world he has to live in will require faith and love and courage….so, Teacher, I wish you would sort of take him by his hand and teach him the things he will have to know.

Teach him…but gently, if you can.
He will have to learn, I know that all men are not just, that all men are not true, but teach him also for every scoundrel, there is a hero…that for every crooked politician, there is a dedicated leader…that for every enemy, there is a friend.  It will take time, I know, but teach him if you can, that a nickel earned is of far more value than a dollar found.  Teach him to lose…and to enjoy winning.

Steer him away from envy, if you can, and teach him the secret quiet of laughter.

Let him learn early that bullies are the easiest people to lick.  Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books.  But also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hill.

In school, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat.  Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong.  Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is getting on the bad wagon.  Teach him to listen to all men…but teach him to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness.  Teach him to sell his brawn and brains to the highest bidder but never put a price tag ion his heart and soul.

Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad.  Teach him there is no shame in tears.  Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success.  Treat him gently, Teacher, bit don’t coddle him…because only the test of fire makes fine steel.  Let him have the courage to be impatient…let him have the patience to be brave.

Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself.  Because, then, he will always have sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order, Teacher, but see what you can do. He’s such a nice little fellow – My Son.”

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Dear Teacher........

by Mrs.H. on 06.05.08 - public

I find it interesting I am the first to respond. I'm really interested on how this journal entry goes, and am also feeling terrified to find out - yi...

Success means........

by Mrs.H. on 05.30.08 - public

a glance
a breath
a guffaw
a touch
a moment
never looking back...

Deal?

by Mrs.H. on 05.25.08 - public

Have you ever watched the game show Let’s Make a Deal? I never liked that show, which is interesting because I play it every year at this time.

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Have you ever watched the game show Let’s Make a Deal?  I never liked that show, which is interesting because I play it every year at this time.

This is the time of year when I gather up the names of all my kids who I have grown to understand and love, and pass them on to next year’s teacher.  This placement process is a dance – sometimes frenzied and frenetic, sometimes slow and deliberate.  It feels of being something of a Yenta – finding the right match for a happily ever after – at least for one year.  It feels of being something like a plate balancing act from Ed Sullivan days – yes, I’m that old.  Not only do I find the right teacher, the placement must include the right balance of peers, so that optimal opportunities for alliances are possible.  This year, I also learned of the importance of balancing schedules.  It is crucial for the classroom to have the “right” time slots for specials – music, gym, library, - so that transitions are smooth and effortless. It feels of being something of a human resource person.  You need to find that perfect person as a para-professional, someone who not only is trained well and  “gets it”, but who also wants to be there, and is willing to learn and stretch and evolve, just as do the kids.  Lastly, it feels of being something of a magician, because you have to provide what you can, and who you can get,  based on budgetary constraints.

So I play Let’s Make a Deal.  I think it’s now called Deal or No Deal – but that title doesn’t quite work in my game.   As much as I would have liked to have said, “No deal”, and walked away from the bargaining table, that just doesn’t work in this situation.  Once again this year, I had to base my placement decisions from a field of classroom teachers.  The bottom line though, wasn’t the fact that I couldn’t make the right fit, but it was that I was limited to whom I could place them based on the willingness and ability of the teacher choices.  Each year it boils down to two teachers who I can feel confident and safe in placing “my guys.”  Please understand, the other teachers are wonderful people, and great educators.  However, when it comes to working with children on the spectrum, the fit is crucial.  (Actually – I believe it’s critical for all children – but you know what I mean.)  In reading about Shannon’s new Autism 101, and a recent article about discrimination a kindergartener on the spectrum in Jacksonville, it reminds me how important education and awareness is.  It is imperative that teachers and paraprofessionals have the opportunity to receive the appropriate training before that little guy walks through their door.  Teachers need to be supported throughout the year so that they can feel competent in their efforts, and not flying blindly.  What is that parable of how to eat an elephant?  Bit by bit, right?  Without education, awareness and training the classroom teachers struggle to keep up with what they perceive is a monumental task.  The teacher must also recall whom they are there for, all children – not most. I understand that the learning curve is great, but our education doesn’t stop when the certification is received.  Teaching is a craft, not a profession.  Placing children is an art, not a game show.   I go to the table this week to make my placements.  Such a deal!

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Cheers!

by Mrs.H. on 05.08.08 - public

Just a quick hit> I have not fallen off Foggy Rock - I'm just in the middle of a maze. I am beginning the downhill slide to "restructuring", last ni...

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Podcast responses - knee jerk

by Mrs.H. on 04.20.08 - public

I'm listening - right this very second - to Shannon and Michael Boll on the last podcast. (4/12/08)

First - great interview questions and active l...

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On My Refrigerator Door

by Mrs.H. on 04.17.08 - public

Like others, years ago modern design brought a stainless steel refrigerator into our kitchen. At first this seemed like a wondrous piece of sleek mod...

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Like others, years ago modern design brought a stainless steel refrigerator into our kitchen.  At first this seemed like a wondrous piece of sleek modern art.  Gone were the adored, albeit crusty, works of art, grades and messages amassed by four children.  Sticker charts, grocery lists, and calendar schedules were relegated to new homes...places where parents of teenagers, or - shock horror - adult children- would reside.

That shiny fridge stood as naked as an emperor in the town square.  It was awful.  True - it brought me a small thrill to find the door handle at the first attempt.  Yes, it was a joy to not have to decide which, or whose, "gem" had to be moved, or worse - replaced.  But it was a sad, sorry sight.  A loss.  A void.

So - it should come as no surprise to you to realize how overjoyed I was this morning when I went to get the 2% for my morning coffee.  There it was.  Despite the fact that the third of my four will be leaving for college this August - there it was.  Evidence that children lived in this house.  Evidence that last night - there was laughing, running, squeals of children, and admonitions to "take it outside before someone gets hurt - I'm cooking!" That future departing child left me a reminder - of the history of all these kids - my babies.  A hand print.  A huge hand print of a 6'3" young man...who soon will be wearing a uniform, and go away.  On my refrigerator I have a hand print.   I plan on hiding the Windex.

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Whoops, I did it again!

by Mrs.H. on 04.16.08 - public

Well - it's done. I have handed in my letters of resignation to my school district today. After of two years of so much processing, I am officially ...

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Boing!

by Mrs.H. on 04.09.08 - public

Spring has sprung....no, not on the ground; we still have feet of stuff that used
to be white, but now is a collective color of black, gray and brow...

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Spring has sprung....no, not on the ground; we still have feet of stuff that used 
to be white, but now is a collective color of black, gray and brown.

No the loosening, chaotic, energy pressing against the walls of winter that held bodies in...this all happens in the heart of a child.

More specifically, the five year old.

Even more particularly in the being of the five year on the spectrum.

You can see it in their faces.  You can see how the seasonal change creates almost a paradigm shift.  Behaviors that have been dormant, almost perceived as "vanished" return - sliding right back into their original place, creating familiar grooves.  They wear it on their skin.  Distress.   Someone said to me recently, referring to one of my little guys, "One step forward, two steps back."  
I still don't know how I feel about that comment.

As one cannot control the weather, one cannot control the barometric changes of our children.  The best we can do some days is analyze available data, project a forecast, look out the window, and pray for the best.

Spring has sprung in my live free or die state...I best get out my pogo stick and umbrella.

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Purpose

by Mrs.H. on 02.28.08 - public

I have been off line for a few weeks, shoveling, dealing with delayed openings and 25 five year olds so very happy, or not, to be together, cleaning o...

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I have been off line for a few weeks, shoveling, dealing with delayed openings and 25 five year olds so very happy, or not, to be together, cleaning out drawers and closets and juggling my own 4 kids.  (Please note - just because they grow up, doesn't mean they go away, or you need any less hair color...NT or not.)

What I have mostly been doing is getting ready for my move into starting my RDI training next week, reading, learning, listening.  It's very much like -If You Give A Mouse a Cookie.  You know the story; if you give  mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk to go with it.  If you give him the milk, he's going to want a napkin.  If you give him a napkin, he's going to want to look in the mirror.  And so it goes.  With this change of career - and specifically going into RDI, albeit, initially, I already see the need to know how to adapt my skills to address each child with their own fingerprint of needs and personality.

I want to support the children.  The variety of needs of our children make me realize not just the importance of implementing the RDI approach, but also to need to apply the SCERTS model, and be well versed in ABA, and be able to provide any other therapy and support that would best teach that unique child.  It's kind of overwhelming on this side of the fence as well. I want to help steer these children to become the people they were meant to be...and be proud of the people they are.

I want to support the families.  I hear parents speak of the difficulties with school systems, teachers, therapists, of the challenges and joys of homeschooling, of the struggle to eek out the funds, patience and energy that's required to raise their child as best they can.  Many of my families are single parents, parents who are struggling to keep together, or couples who have used this experience as a bonding agent - creating a strong, permanent support.  I want to figure out - what is the most important thing for their parental needs?  Is it public education availability and equality?  Is it affordable, accessible, articulated and coordinated services?  Is it a shoulder, an ear - or both?    I want to "get it" - what do you want, what comes first?  I want to be of good use.

I want to educate and support the public school system - the classroom teacher.  So many times I feel fortunate to be working with my Amazing Special Ed. Team, and yet, after reading some entries, I wonder if we are the exception, and not the rule.  Even though we are good, we need to be so much better.  That can only come from community support, which translates into school boards, which in turn travels to administrative decision making - and ultimately change.  We need to change our approach and understanding of children on the spectrum.  I repeat myself when I say that we need to provide teachers with the teaching, training and support them to better teach, understand, and accept - yes accept these children for who they are...not their diagnosis.  In doing so, we remove the fear some teachers have.  I would like to help the teachers gain courage and confidence.

And so it goes...the cookie factor.

So the real reason I've been off line?  I've been doing what I do best - clean closets, bake something no one will eat, shovel - again, and really, really avoid.  I have been avoiding thinking about what I'm about to embark...I want to do it all - and I know I can't.  This is where I'm the most vulnerable - when I think I can't.

The first story I read every year - for the past 20 years to my kindergarten is The Little Engine That Could.  It is from this that we, as a class,  make our first motto, write our first book, and read our first words.  Two words stand at the focal point of our room - I Can.   So - the drawers are done, the driveway is clear for now, and the kids can do their own laundry.  It's time.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

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Love Actually

by Mrs.H. on 02.14.08 - public

The other day a friend of mine confided in me that she was having a tough time warming up to one of my current little guys. Soon after, another frien...

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The other day a friend of mine confided in me that she was having a tough time warming up to one of my current little guys.  Soon after, another friend had asked me about a former student of mine, NT, who was also a challenge to love.  That has had me thinking on this day before Valentine's, this day that sets mail carriers a twitter, card makers a flush of inventory, and license for an overindulgence in chocolate or more...really, can you make love happen?

One of my favorite movies is called Love Actually.  I think I like it because it shows the messy sides of life.  They abound.  There's romantic love, love of duty, love of an ideal, and love of a child.   I like this story too because in the end, love doesn't conquer all, and yet...it's all right.  Sometimes it's okay not to have love work.

These tricky-to-love kids are challenging.  What strikes me is the need and the desire of my colleagues, and me, to strive to love these children.  To us...it's a job qualification.  We know that our hearts have to be open to the kind of kid who, for a variety of reasons, is less than lovable. It can be tough to love someone who talks back, kicks you, pinches you, or swears at you.  It can be a challenge to develop a relationship with someone who doesn't even know you are in the world. Sometimes we will say that a child is "unavailable for learning".  When I have someone who is having a panic attack because his squishy ball isn't where he expected it to be - that child isn't available to learn at that moment.  The thought occurs to me that this is the same with love.  There are factors for that child which makes them unavailable for love.

So, we work it.  I suggested - keep trying, it's there, just hard to find.  Love, for these kids, is a buried treasure.  We keep up the search.  We try different strategies to make connections.  We look for common ground.  Sometimes, very rarely, it doesn't work - but as long as we treat that child with the care and respect they deserve, it's all right.  I can say that because in the end, for me, love does conquer all.  I've never met a child or a piece of chocolate that I didn't love eventually  -  actually.

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Achy Breaky Heart

by Mrs.H. on 02.08.08 - public

Today was tricky. It’s hard enough to try to make your way to understand your own student with autism. But trying to get colleagues to understand is...

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Today was tricky.  It’s hard enough to try to make your way to understand your own student with autism.  But trying to get colleagues to understand is even harder.

Breaking up is hard to do.

I was reminded today of something that happened last year.  I have mentioned my friends, Bud and mom May, who are my inspiration in trying to create things to work in the public school classroom for kids on the spectrum.  I naively thought this would be an easy task, but that’s another story.  I have recently reconnected with Bud this year for a variety of reasons.  The most powerful reason Bud and I have been separated though is simple – he broke up with me.

That first year in kindergarten Bud and I worked with each other, trying to figure out how I could best understand, and how he could best communicate with me.  Again, with the power of my amazing special ed. Team, and Super Mom – we were able to put together a very good year with tons of hugs, challenges met and overcome, some original language and both big and small successes.

I start worrying about my students’ placement for the next year just about now.  I try to best fit learning style, teaching style, sense of humor, level of affection, willingness towards adaptability and flexibility. That is a tall order, and I have been developing an understanding of why people homeschool.  While I wouldn’t sacrifice my child on the alter of public education, I am a public educator who believes there has got to be a way to develop a new learning, understanding and accepting of our kids on the spectrum.  I believe it’s up to school districts to lead more professional development workshops for teachers on autism, provide more money for inclusion coordinators, and provide paraprofessionals with the training necessary to meet the needs of these children.  Many school special educators and therapists are overloaded, and while they are the best of the best, really there is only so much a person can do in so many minutes a day.

Bud broke up with me because he had a new love – his first grade teacher.  We, as a team, were able to find a great fit for him after kindergarten.  He couldn’t possibly have two loves, so he set me aside.  I was okay with that – because I could see how happy he was.  Now I am torn – because Bud has come back to me.  While I am thrilled to have him want to come see me in my room, and lean onto me for a hug, I’m not sure if it’s for the right reasons.  I worry about the fit this year…and the years to come.  Bud and May have agreed to be one of my training families for my RDI certification.  Bud’s and my make up is bittersweet.  I’m going to love working with him, but I wish he felt “just right” in his classroom.

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Tut, tut, it looks like rain.

by Mrs.H. on 02.06.08 - public

As I sit here and compose, I can hear the frozen ice pellets hit the windows. Freezing rain. It's another two hour delay, and contrary to popular be...

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As I sit here and compose, I can hear the frozen ice pellets hit the windows. Freezing rain.   It's another two hour delay, and contrary to popular belief, teachers do not love it.   My situation is fine this year, for the most part.  Instead of having 13 children in the AM and 12 in the PM, I have 25 in the PM.  For us it's "the more the merrier", and "mas agua en la sopa", but for my "little guys" it means simply disregulation.

I knew it yesterday when the barometer was askew.  There are those who like to argue that:
1)  Sugar does not make children energetic, and,
2)  Children on the spectrum are not affected by the weather....
I'd like to invite those folks into my room on a rainy day-after-Halloween.  Pay back....

The situation today is that the routine is, once again due to weather, holidays, vacations, disrupted.  Schedules are shot, the weather is making their skin crawl, and there is a general sense of heightened energy surrounding them by the rest of the children.

So - today, I try to make sure the routine is as close to normal as I can.  I greet everyone - moms included - with a great big "it's going to be okay, we'll have fun" smile.  I circle the wagons, and try to create a classroom of calm, fun, joy to be amongst new friends, and a lot of singing.  It feels like those old variety show acts where the plates are spinning wildly, the ball is balanced on your head, and three more juggling in the air.

I must admit - I like the challenge.  However, for some of my colleagues, this will be a dismal day - and not just the weather.

Six more weeks of winter - sigh.
Anyone got a plate - I think one of mine just fell.

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Is this Seat Taken?

by Mrs.H. on 01.31.08 - public

I’m at the airport. It is a busy afternoon, but I’m traveling on my own – good book in hand. As I open to find the last dog-eared page – I hear it l...

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I’m at the airport.  It is a busy afternoon, but I’m traveling on my own – good book in hand.  As I open to find the last dog-eared page – I hear it long before I see it.  It could be the sound of a machine grinding, whirring, and attempting to engage.  It could be the sound of an injured bird – protesting being stuffed into an uncomfortable cage. No, no – it’s someone crying.

The sound comes closer, and closer until it is right behind me – and I smile, because I know exactly what it is.  It’s a boy, around four, who is clearly disregulated, and scripting loudly, frenetically and at a decibel only known to the lucky.  He is peppering the scripts with requests for things that are just not possible.  It’s this little guy, his mom, and the stares of neighboring waiting passengers.  The looks are of astonishment at what they perceive to be a tantrum out of control.

In soothing, nonchalant tones mom continues to get what needs to get done, and they arrange themselves in the seat right behind mine.  I hear mom ask, “Are you ready?’  The teary, almost relieved voice says yes… then there is quiet.  I am thinking as quickly as I can, what could possibly be happening behind me.  The looks of the others have now changed to a different kind of incredulous.  I have to look. I smile again.   Little guy is happily upside down on the chair – head down on the seat.  Mom is holding his legs and feet in the air, as they both happily take in their surroundings.  “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do”  - life is good for a moment.  The people around don’t know about joint compression, or rhythmic stimulation, or parenting an autistic child in a clearly anxiety provoking situation.  But in my mind – mom is a champ.  Her eyes are on her little guy only, and the bliss is short lived.  “I have to go potty,” he says.  She helps him back up, gathers all the gear, the scripting begins, and they head towards the women’s room.

I know the rest of the passengers are hoping that when she returns, she does not choose the seat next to them on the plane.  As for me, I hope they do…I’ll take turns holding him up.

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Is that the Sky Falling?

by Mrs.H. on 01.28.08 - public

My sweet boy was six years old - and would start each day with a face that shone, and sweet kisses. After having grown up in a family of women, and h...

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My sweet boy was six years old - and would start each day with a face that shone, and sweet kisses.  After having grown up in a family of women, and having two daughters, my boy was such a joy.  My husband and I had dreamed of having a son ever since we started dating at 17.  Please understand, I love all my children equally - and dislike them equally when they drive me nuts.  My boy though - was my heart's desire.  
Fast forward to the day when his first grade teacher handed me, haphazardly, sheaths of paper all about the difficulties, roadblocks, and challenges of having a child with ADHD.
"Here.  You're going to need these," she said to me.  It was a drive by diagnosis. That's it - she didn't say anything else. As she scuttled away from me down the hall, and my little guy was at my side waiting for the rest of the day's adventures to begin - I was stunned.  Clearly, she must have confused me with a different parent.  Surely she must not think my bright, energetic boy was going to have a lifetime of struggle to just to get a written word on a page, and find a way to love learning again.  Certainly, she didn't realize that he knew Charlotte's Web, and Trumpet of the Swan by heart - for goodness sake - because that was the only way for him to fall asleep at night, well into the night with his Fischer Price boom box by his ear.
Surely - she must have been trained in the appropriate way to begin the conversation with a parent on what she sees with her child, and how - together - they can start to understand how best to teach him.

I was wrong.  The sky fell.

It has been a long haul - but there is a light at the end of the tunnel....and it's not a train coming at us.

So, now I have to be Chicken Little, tomorrow, and I hate it.  It is delicate business, trying share with a parent what their child looks like in a school setting.  My team and I may have our clear suspicions of a child being on the spectrum, with or without other issues.  The parents , however, are holding on to the PDD-NOS diagnosis.  PDD-NOS is the "safety"  - "please don't tell us anything else."  I make sure that I show the parent that I do know WHO their child is, beside the autism, beside the cognitive ability, beside where they are developmentally.  I know that the child I'm going to talk about tomorrow was desperately wanted, new chapters were going to be written because of this little guy, and hope was at reach.  I need to listen.  I need to ask for insights. I also need to explain the behaviors, observations, and checklists, that are leaning towards an autism diagnosis.
The sky is going to fall tomorrow for them.  Do I think they know in their heart of hearts?  I don't know - but I need to give them what I didn't receive all those years ago with my little guy.  Respect, empathy, kindness...and a net.

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It's the little things

by Mrs.H. on 01.19.08 - public

Once a quarter, for the past four years, I sit at a table with members of our Special Education team, and two other K teachers and look at children's ...

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Once a quarter, for the past four years, I sit at a table with members of our Special Education team, and two other K teachers and look at children's work.  What we are supposed to be doing is, based on a particular rubric designed for a particular style of writing - narrative, for example, analyze and score the child's writing.  For simplicity's sake let's say a score of one means the child made a mark on the paper, and a 6 would mean that it would be seen on Amazon's Hot Picks soon.

As with a few other things in my teaching, I have made the types of accommodations where I can analyze growth, but not at the expense of a child's self esteem and frustration level.  So it goes, and I see the progress of all the NT kids in class, with or without IEPs.

Then come my children within the spectrum.   How to request, cajole, and document growth with someone who not only is on the page as what I would like them to be, but also has all the organization, planning, OT and perhaps nonverbal qualities that some of these children have had?  I have gone around and around this one.  I am part of a writer's workshop pilot program, a protocol I have done for years, but this one I was able to differentiate specifically.  It evolved.  The outcome - priceless.

This year, I did something different for all the children.  I made accommodations for my kids on the spectrum AND the the rest of the crew - the same type of expectations differentiated to meet the requirements of the task, as well as each child's level of success.

While the rest of the teachers were marveling at how much progress my pilot kids, as well as the kids not in the pilot had made, I had two pieces of paper in front of me.
The first had a picture that went with the story, and some letters on the page.  This from someone for whom language - both spoken and heard - is a huge challenge, not to mention any OT issues.  He understood that both a picture and letters convey meaning....amazing!
The second was a picture of circles of different colors, each with two eyes and a mouth.  This is from someone for whom holding a utensil of any kind was a feat of effort - not to mention the motor planning and organization needed to make a circle...and have those circles mean something - outstanding.

So, while everyone else was looking for the spectacular - I was so proud of the greatness of what those two children had accomplished.  As in Lily and her Purple Purse would say - wow!  (I think those can each be a 6 - don't you?)

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Recovery

by Mrs.H. on 01.17.08 - public

I'm still wrapping my brain around terms like "cure" and "recovery". In Reading Recovery - the term "recovery" comes from the Australian nautical ter...

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