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Country: USA
Member since: Oct 23, 2007
Last logged in: Dec 01, 2008
Hi everyone
My name is Jan and I am Mom to my wonderful son, 22 year old Andrew who has regressive autism that is fairly classic in it's presentation, (the result of his MMR vaccine at 16 months.) He also has bipolar disorder and tourettes syndrome.
I also have a wonderful (NT) daughter Allie who is 25 and working on hers Masters Degree in Fine Arts.
I work for an Autism agency and spend the rest of my time advocating for my son. I am trying to get the people in power in the adult service world to understand what "Best Practices" are for people with Autism.
I have been married for 26 years to my DH who is a sweetie and very content to let me do the "autism stuff."
Andrew has just transitioned from school to adult services, a very disheartening event! Adult Services knowledge about people with Autism and their needs is generally where the school system's knowledge was back in 1993!!
I am really hoping to be able to corespond with other parents of young adults with Autism who are also strong advocates for their sons and daughters. This is a tough enough road to travel, without having to do it without being able to share ideas with others who are also facing the similar issues.
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janneane7's Compositions
by janneane7 on 02.07.08 - public - 129 visits
My kids, Allie (age 25) and Andy (age 22) have, like all siblings had their issues. They also adore one another.
Allie had to learn as she was gowing up what "fair" REALLY MEANS. Fair is not everyone getting the same things, fair is everyone getting what they need.
She saw a brother who had very severe meltdowns, who sometimes hit her, who got a lot more attention than she did and parents who were sometimes strssed to the breaking point. She also saw a brother who looked up to her, who teased her and who watched her as she got to do all of the things in life that he will never ever get to do.
She also had to deal with a brother who sometimes embarrassed her in public. My favorite story, one she can laugh about now, happened when she was about 15 or 16.
The 3 of us were in a local clothing store and we were looking for somthing for her. Andy who thought he was making a great joke loudly said "Allie has a penis!"
Well I thought I was going to fall over and die laughing. Allie, in a great impersonation of the Regan in the Exorcist, eye's bugged out, and her head spun around as she growled at me "get him out of here!!"
As I said she can totally laugh at that now!
And at sibling forums where she has spoken she has told other stories like that too.
I was most proud of her at a recent sibling forum. She told those attending that it was imporant to be frank with the brothers and sisters that don't have autism. She told the group "tell them the truth and don't sugar coat why their brother or sister gets more or seems to get away with things." She also said that if you don't "coddle them" (I was surpised when she used that phrase) you will find that they will grow up to be very strong, compassionate and amazing adults.
It wasn't always easy and Allie did have some tough times, but she would be the first to tell you that growing up with a brother with autism helped shape the person she is today! She would also tell you that she would give anything if her brother didn't have autism.
Comments(5)
carmel66
Posted on Thu, 7 Feb 2008
I've been waiting to hear from you on this one, Jan. Wonderful story and simply beautiful picture...thanks.
shannonj
Posted on Thu, 7 Feb 2008
She sounds like a great gal! Andy is lucky to have her support--and I'm sure she is the lady she is today in part because of Andy's struggles.
PebblePolisher
Posted on Thu, 7 Feb 2008
Those are words of encouragement because Skilynn is the baby and has 3 older siblings who are teenagers. Having Skilynn has actually helped them to become more sensitive to other kids at their school with special needs. When another kid is picked on at school then it's as if they're picking on Skilynn and they feel the need to step up to the plate.
janneane7
Posted on Thu, 7 Feb 2008
Allie had some definte anger issues... those were compounded by the fact that she had an undiagnosed (until age 11 & 1/2) of sensory integration disorder which severely affected her self esteem and her ability to do some academics) It was work and her going to a sibling group from age 8 until 10 and getting diagnosed with SI disorder and supporting her in her interests (art & theater) made all the difference in the world.
Motherof4
Posted on Thu, 7 Feb 2008
Thanks. It helps a lot to read your words. There are so many siblings out there who are affected by their sibling's autism, and some of them are very angry indeed. It's great to know that there's hope for the siblings, too.
