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noaholiviaian - NOT BACKING DOWN...

City: Brookfield
State: WI
Country: USA
Member since: Apr 10, 2008
Last logged in: Nov 11, 2008

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Parent, Biomedical Intervention, Anxiety, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Lionel Trains, Cooking

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noaholiviaian's Page URL

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noaholiviaian's Bio

"There's nothing you can do, Ma'am."

What kind of health professional gives THAT advice? Quite a few in my life! My son was diagnosed with Autism in 2004 (age 3.5 yrs) after 18 months of scrambling to learn why he stopped talking, stopped playing and stopped listening. My search quickly led me to the GFCF diet, DAN! and biomedical intervention, all along being discouraged by doctor after doctor that what I was now following was simply garbage distributed to take advantage of desperate parents. What a shame; and how fun it has been to prove them absolutely, 100%, unequivocally WRONG! I can see recovery...

My name is Pam. I am a mom of 3 and a wife to only 1. My youngest, Ian, is on the Autism Spectrum. Although I wish he never developed Autism, my son's journey has changed me in so many positive ways: I am more compassionate, my famiy lives a clean and healthy lifestyle and the fire is back in my eyes. It is no longer simply about me.

I'd love to tell you that my life is full of things other than Autism, but at this point that is fantasy. I do enjoy cooking, physical activity, helping run an inner city food pantry and promoting Environmental Awareness whenever possible. I should spend less time on the computer and more time interacting with 4 dimensional human beings, but I'm working on that...

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noaholiviaian's Compositions

Good Friend, Inc Fundraiser Success!

by noaholiviaian on 11.09.08 - public

Woosh! Lots of hard work on the part of 6 wonderful women culminated in yesterday's fun and (relatively) successful fundraiser for Good Friend, Inc! ...

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Photo Share: School Days

by noaholiviaian on 09.10.08 - public

We have had a big change this year for school. Ian decided he wanted to ride the regular bus... no more special ed bus! I was so nervous. He was so...

Michael Savage, Amanda Peet, Offitt, etc

by noaholiviaian on 07.22.08 - public

All of this nonsense coming out of self-proclaimed expert's mouths these days regarding the cause/existence of Autism irks me beyond belief. Then, I ...

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My son says the funniest things...

by noaholiviaian on 07.16.08 - public

Ian has developed a great, sarcastic delivery of words. His comedic timing is priceless. This was how it went down this week as we were driving. He...

Share a Photo: Mealtime

by noaholiviaian on 06.30.08 - public

Oh, here's another fun eating moment! I love going through old pictures. I am happy to say Ian is a much cleaner eater these days. He loved to wear...

Share a Photo: Mealtime

by noaholiviaian on 06.28.08 - public

This is a photo of Ian; pre-regression. It was an easier time! I haven't been able to get him to eat an ear of corn in over 5 years. Recently, Ian ...

Assure me I'm not crazy!

by noaholiviaian on 06.22.08 - public

My family is planning on taking in a foreign student for the month of July. He will speak some English, but the purpose of his stay will be to immers...

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My family is planning on taking in a foreign student for the month of July.  He will speak some English, but the purpose of his stay will be to immerse himself in our culture to improve his English.  He will likely be between 14-17 yrs old.  Boy, is he in for a surprise!
This opportunity fell in to my lap this week, so I haven't had the time to really think long and hard about it.  I'm going to go with my gut and trust we have the time, love and energy to make his stay here a good one.
He will be gone all day for classes and touring, but the evenings and weekends will be all ours!  I actually found a profile for a boy (Norway) whose family eats organic.  That might be the best match.  There is another boy from Spain who seems quite outgoing and cultured... I like culture!
Am I crazy?  I just want to do normal things like normal families.  I'm psyched, but nervous.  I suppose a 'normal' mom would be nervous, too! 
I know my kids will be OK with it; even my ASD son.  He'll probably be thrilled, actually!

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Don't Waste Your Time On:

by noaholiviaian on 06.20.08 - public

convincing others that you are right. Instead, take pleasure in the accomplishments in your child's recovery. YOU DID IT! You.

Don't waste your ...

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I had no idea...

by noaholiviaian on 06.18.08 - public

It is Week One of summer vacation. I had no idea my son TALKED SO MUCH!!! He is a non-stop chatter box about trains, The Titanic, money, MLK Jr. and...

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Summer Schedule needs Excel Program!

by noaholiviaian on 06.14.08 - public

Man, oh, Man. I am trying to get my 3 kids ready for summer (starts today!). Between therapy and social skills classes, Ian's days are jam-packed. ...

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Success means........

by noaholiviaian on 05.30.08 - public

Success means having my son say, "Hi Mom. How's it going?" when he sees me in the hallway at school. He spots me before I see him!...

My son, the Comedian

by noaholiviaian on 05.18.08 - public

Yet another sign of Ian's progress is his desire to joke and play jokes.

I finished a 2000 pc puzzle last night (yeah, Me). This morning my son ...

Most Folks Don't Know That I:

by noaholiviaian on 05.18.08 - public

Most folks don't know that I eat the chocolate off of peanut M & Ms and discard the peanut.

Most folks don't know that I am painfully shy. I'm sur...

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Girls go to dance, boys go to DAN!

by noaholiviaian on 05.07.08 - public

My DAN! doctor and I had a poignant moment yesterday at his office. We were in his glass-front meeting room facing the street. The building next doo...

How to explain God to a child with Autism?

by noaholiviaian on 04.28.08 - public

I trust some of you have done this: How do you explain God? My son is 7. He is on the spectrum with some language delays. His receptive language i...

For those who homeschool

by noaholiviaian on 04.27.08 - public

At some point, I wonder if I will be homeschooling my ASD child. Sadly, I don't see the world of middle school and high school being kind to him. I'...

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Bad Mommy! Bad Mommy!

by noaholiviaian on 04.27.08 - public

Oh boy, did I give Ian a test in maintaining his composure! Please tell me you have all done such bone-headed things to your kids:

Ian was invited...

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Oh boy, did I give Ian a test in maintaining his composure!  Please tell me you have all done such bone-headed things to your kids:

Ian was invited to a classmate's birthday party at Pump It Up (indoor jumpy fun place).  We showed up last night... 24 HOURS LATE!  Ack!  I had it on my calendar, on my phone and in my head; all 1 day late.  I felt horrible.
I was sooooo not looking forward to the crying, whining, perseverating and wallowing.  NOTHING HAPPENED?!  Ian spent about 30 seconds questioning my mistake, gave 1 good whine, asked me not to do it again and moved on.  Wow.  I think he acted even better than a typical 7 year old would under the circumstances.
We went out for a family dinner, ate good kid food (aka:  junk), bought a cake on the way home and had our own birthday party for his friend.  It was fun.  Still, not even any whining when we ate the cake together; he even thought was funny when we sang 'Happy Birthday'.

Now, things are far from normal over here.  Ian just screamed bloody murder because he spotted a flying insect in the house.  It might be a looong summer...

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Share a Photo: Water

by noaholiviaian on 04.22.08 - public

This picture of Ian was taken by a dear friend. Ian was only 4 at the time; and while he was having fun in the water, I felt like I was literally dro...

My husband learned a valuable lesson today!

by noaholiviaian on 04.20.08 - public

My husband and I disagree regularly on how much supervision my 7 yr old ASD son requires. Example: husband lets him play outside alone, lets him rid...

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My husband and I disagree regularly on how much supervision my 7 yr old ASD son requires.  Example:  husband lets him play outside alone, lets him ride his bike around the block alone, lets him stay in the house alone while he is outside doing yardwork.  Stuff like that.
This afternoon my son apparently took his dumptruck over to the firepit where my dh had earlier burned brush.  He took a shovel, dug out some ashes, and took them over the compost bin in our woods.  Dumped them in... I think you might be able to guess what happened.  Lord, do leaves burn up fast!
We avoided a disaster, literally.  Neighbors helped put out the blaze.  The dumptruck is melted.
Right now I'm just mad at my husband.  He knew he was in the ashes.  Who lets a kid play in ashes that were burned earlier that day, let alone a child with Autism?
My poor boy was pretty upset when he saw all of the chaos.  I think he's confused about why he might be in trouble when he was playing with something that had Dad's OK.
I feel like we failed him today.  It is our job to keep him away from these situations.
Since everything is OK, I'm trying not to get on dh too badly over this.  I did tell him that I think he learned a valuable lesson today.  He seems a bit sheepish, but not enough to make me feel like he'll change his ways any.  
We just grew up differently.  You should hear the stories about what his Dad let him do as a kid.  I think my husband forgets our son is not like he was as a child; and perhaps that his Dad lectured and taught him about the dangers of things (he probably doesn't remember that part).
How frustrating!

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A typical playdate! I'm nervous...

by noaholiviaian on 04.20.08 - public

Pick me up off of the floor. My son was just invited over to a classmates house for a play date. It is the same boy he hung out with at the water pa...

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Fun with Puzzles

by noaholiviaian on 04.20.08 - public

I've been working on a 2000 pc puzzle for the past month! It has been driving me crazy; only able to get 3-4 pcs per day. Granted, I don't have much...

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I've been working on a 2000 pc puzzle for the past month!  It has been driving me crazy; only able to get 3-4 pcs per day.  Granted, I don't have much time... but I'm wondering what possessed me to start this project.
Last night, my 7 year old ASD son walked in to the dining room, picked up a piece from the pile and plopped it in place!  He looked at me and said, "this is easy" and walked out.
AUUUGH! 
Five minutes later, my son came back.  He looked at the area where he put the first piece and then dug through a pile of loose pieces.  He proceeds to put in 9 more pieces!!!!!!  I'm now in total awe.  He is so proud of himself; partially due to the jumping and cheering of his mother.
The cool thing is that my son never enjoyed puzzles and actually seemed to struggle with them as a toddler.  We used to have puzzles in ABA and he didn't get them much at all.  Last night, he studied the shape needed and seemed like he could 'see' which piece would fit.
How cool is that?  At this rate, we'll be done before Christmas!

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You can't pick your family...

by noaholiviaian on 04.19.08 - public

Ugh. Siblings.
My adult brother (39) is mentally ill. No real diagnosis, but he has lived with cyclical major depression, anxiety and chronic fatig...

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Ugh.  Siblings.
My adult brother (39) is mentally ill.  No real diagnosis, but he has lived with cyclical major depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue since puberty. He is SO bright and seems capable of working, but he doesn't.  Started law school twice, almost finished an MBA but didn't... all along having my parents foot the bill and bail him out over and over again.  I'd say he has major character flaws to go along with the mental illness.  Probably a bit of the old 'which came first the chicken or the egg' dilemma.
My brother lost his last job over a year ago.  He had been living with my parents for 4 years and never paid a dime.  He had just moved out when he lost the job (just stopped going).  Now, my parents are paying tons of money each month to keep him living on his own. He says he can't work because he doesn't know from day to day how he will feel.  He is medicated, but I don't know what he is taking.
I'm trying to be compassionate!  I am so disturbed by his behavior and the way he uses my parents (major sense of entitlement from this brother).  My father is a retired MD, so they can afford it.  I suppose I need to keep my nose out of their business.  It is their money and he is their child.   I know my mom worries he will kill himself and she'll feel responsible.
I worry he will take advantage of them more than he is already.  I don't trust him (he has a history of lying and legal trouble).  
We've talked about structuring their will to take care of him (I don't know if I can) long-term.  I'm happy to say they've done just that.

What do I do????  On the one hand, I get what it feels like to hurt for your child and to want to do everything to keep them safe, but I just wish my brother would put forth some effort.  Come over and mow the lawn, for one!  I am trying not to get mad.  I love my brother dearly but I don't like him right now.  I've tried helping him several times in the past and I'm burned out.
This rant probably belongs in my private compositions, but I'm hoping someone will help me get over my bad feelings!  Thanks for listening.

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Fun at the waterpark

by noaholiviaian on 04.19.08 - public

My son was invited to a birthday party! Well, it IS another boy on the spectrum, but typical kids from the 1st grade class were there, too. I love t...

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My son was invited to a birthday party!  Well, it IS another boy on the spectrum, but typical kids from the 1st grade class were there, too.  I love this age:  all kids get invited to parties.  It won't last much longer.
The party was at an indoor water park. I was so thrilled to see my son looking for kids to play with, waiting for them as they came down the slide after him, running up the stairs carrying a double inner tube with another boy, laughing and looking like every other kid in the water.  These activities that don't require super complicated conversation skills are so good for Ian.  
The only time he had a slight melt-down was in the arcade.  I did notice several kids seemed overstimulated!  It was a good day.
Last year, Ian would have walked around making train noises.  He would have enjoyed himself in the water, but he would have played alone.  Yesterday I was so proud of him!
Our kids put up with so much:  all of the invasive therapy, the discreet trials, the supplements, the doctor's visits, the evaluations... it is good to see pay-off.

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Inspiration needed!

by noaholiviaian on 04.17.08 - public

I had a sad meeting today with my friend/neighbor whose 2 year old was recently diagnosed with Autism. She and her husband have chosen to hide this d...

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I had a sad meeting today with my friend/neighbor whose 2 year old was recently diagnosed with Autism.  She and her husband have chosen to hide this dx from their family (they live overseas) and I am the only person who knows.  The stress of secrecy must be horrible!  We were talking about having other children (she has 2).  My girlfriend said she'd like to have another child because right now she only has "one and one half" children.  I nearly fell off my chair.  I didn't confront her on the statement because I could see how stressed she was and I didn't care to make her cry at Panera Bread.  I was also in a bit of shock.  I am so sad!  I also felt a bit perturbed that she might see my son as less than whole...
But, she is my friend and she is hurting.  I am wondering if anyone out there has a personal essay or a favorite essay on accepting a child's Autism diagnosis and celebrating the uniqueness that is Autism.  If so, could you pass it on to me so I can pass it on to her?
Thank you.

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Are hot dogs food?

by noaholiviaian on 04.15.08 - public

I never thought I'd be celebrating my son, or any of my kids, eating a hot dog! Today Ian tried and ate 1/2 of a hot dog (nitrate free, of course). ...

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Shame On Salma?

by noaholiviaian on 04.14.08 - public

I think Salma Hayek needs to read Jenny McCarthy's book. I see Salma has hooked up with UNICEF and Pampers to promote the tetanus vaccine in Western ...

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Spring Means......

by noaholiviaian on 04.11.08 - public

the smell of flowers, worms and muddy earth. Spring means my son walks around with his pants hiked up to his mid calf so he won't get a drop of water...

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