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seymoursheep - All Kids Have Special Needs

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State: Alberta
Country: Canada
Member since: Apr 10, 2008
Last logged in: Aug 03, 2008

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Parent, Mother, Teacher, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, ADHD, Aspergers Syndrome

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seymoursheep's Page URL

http://www.foggyrock.com/MyPage/seymoursheep

seymoursheep's Bio

I am the proud mother of four children. Zane is b.1999 (aspergers), Marcus b.2000(adhd), my only daughter Eowyn b.2002 (Autism), and Ean b.2007 (my specialist free child)

My page title is All kids Have Special Needs because that is how I truly feel about children. As a teacher and a mother, I think even kids without any official diagnosis have special needs that are unique to them.

I have my own web page where I have free resources to help parents of children get organized... www.allkidshavespecialneeds.org

I also sell quirky t-shirts that say things like "I have autism and I think you are weird too" you can find them on my all kids site, on ebay , or at my spreadshirt store http://91975.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/

I made a video explaining what autism is....it can be viewed on youtube...it features my beautiful daugther...

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seymoursheep's Blogs

My daughter is kicked out of a restaurant for being autistic today

by seymoursheep on 07/06/2008

You read the title correctly. My daughter, and my family were asked to leave a Smitty's restaurant this morning (July 5, 2008) after a brief autistic ...

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You read the title correctly. My daughter, and my family were asked to leave a Smitty's restaurant this morning (July 5, 2008) after a brief autistic crying episode disturbed another table...in a full restaruant...one table - not a lot of tables, and not even a table close to us, one across the restaurant.

This is one upsetting problem...that we were asked to take her out because she was making noise.... to understand what prompted me to call the local papers, TV stations, radio stations, the better bussiness bureau and a lawyer... please read below the letter I sent to the president of the restaurant chain tonite.

Sarah and Michael Seymour
826-10 Ave
Wainwright AB t9w1b
h(780)842.5093 c.(780)806.1353
apencil@telus.net

2008-07-05

Smitty’s Canada

To Whom it May Concern;

I am writing to you to relay the inappropriate way in which my daughter, who has special needs, and my family, was treated by your staff at the Smitty’s Restaurant located at 18320 Stony Plain Road, Edmonton Alberta. The incident occurred during breakfast hours on Saturday July 5, 2008.

My family of 6, 2 adults and 4 children stay at the Travelodge in Edmonton 4-5 times each year and dine at your restaurant for breakfast every visit. We do this for the sake of continuity as well as convenience. My 5-year-old daughter Eowyn has Autism and routine is very important to her. As you might imagine, travelling is very stressful for her and the change is hard to deal with. The Travelodge hotel and the Smitty’s restaurant have become familiar to her over the past couple of years.

This morning she ordered her usual Pizza for breakfast...another reason we choose Smitty’s is its ability to feed her odd tastes at odd hours. Today however, pizza was unavailable. This was upsetting to Eowyn and took her some time to process. Your waitress was very understanding and didn’t seem disturbed at all...I explained my daughter had autism (she was even wearing a shirt that stated the fact), and she would calm in a few minutes, another waitress offered us coloring. The distraction did not work, although appreciated.

My daughter may look like a normal five year old, but the behaviour she was exhibiting was similar to a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. She was crying and pulling her hair. We gave her some deep pressure massage and she had stopped pulling her hair...a sign the episode was almost over. We are in no way trying to say she was not making some noise and fuss, we are simply saying that the episode was not behavioural it was symptomatic, under control, and on the way to being stopped.

This is when the Greeter/Manager...Itesh Kumav approached and demanded we take her out of the restaurant. I have never seen anyone ever ask anyone ask any parent to remove a crying child from a restaurant, and so I was shocked and asked why? He responded that another table was threatening to leave without paying? My husband’s non diplomatic response was to tell the other table to “suck it up” I immediately interjected and tried to explain the situation. My daughter has autism; she will be calm in a few minutes now that her food is here...Mr. Kumav’s response was still that she had to leave. I said that this was not acceptable. She could not help the way she was, she was upset because the restaurant did not have pizza. She would be calm in a minute.

And his response...and I quote, believe me I can’t get his words out of my mind “If she is autistic and this is how she acts, you shouldn’t take her out in public”

We immediately stood up and removed our family from the restaurant. I stopped at the front to get his name and the Manager’s name, Dave Hudson and a phone number to reach him 483.6457, which turned out to be the restaurant’s number which was of no use to me as I tried to reach him to talk to him only to be told I couldn’t speak to him until Monday.

I have contacted the following press agencies about this incident: Edmonton Journal and CBC news and have done interviews with both. I have contacted my local Autism Advocacy group and will be looking to see if there is any applicable and reasonable legal action to be taken. I will also be contacting the better business bureau to place a complaint.

When Mr. Kunav, an employee and representative of Smitty’s restaurant told me that my daughter should not be taken out in public I felt as though I had been slapped across the face. My daughter is learning how to act in public, and she can’t help that her brain processes things slowly and that it is painful while this happens and that is why she cries, my daughter has as much right to be in public as any other child.

It is very difficult to parent a child let alone one with autism or other special needs. If my daughter is treated this way, who else is also treated this way by others who work for your restaurants? It is very important to me that all people with special needs are treated with respect. Your restaurant has not shown this to my child or my family, and thus, I must be concerned about others as well.

I look forward to a response from you in the near future. If you wish to respond by phone before the 9th of July we are at (780) 539-3899, after that we can be reached at our home number.

Sincerely

Sarah and Michael Seymour

If you would like to show your support for my daughter I would encourage you to email your comments to the president of smitty's at president@smittys.ca or directly to the restaurant in question at http://www.smittys.ca/access/Location/Home.aspx?locID=36
Thank you
It has been a long day
Sarah

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The compli-sult

by seymoursheep on 05/24/2008

I am sure I am not the only one to have one of these, a compli-sult, it is meant to be a compliment by the person who says it, but there is no way tha...

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I am sure I am not the only one to have one of these, a compli-sult, it is meant to be a compliment by the person who says it, but there is no way that any rational individual hearing it could possibley not hear the insult that is laced within the words. The compli-sult is a tricky thing because the one to whom it is given is meant to respond gratefully.  Thank you so much for your kind words of stupidity....no, that's not right.

Imagine this. I am at the  drug store  and meet a friend I havent seen in  a  long time.  We are making  small talk, and we talk about our children.  She mentions  my daughter and  her autism....somehow she makes the following statement  with a smile and the best intentions..."Only someone as kind and wonderful as you  deserves to raise a child  with autism"

That my friends  is a compli-sult. I compliment, but it is really an insult. She is a great mom too, and she would be just as good a  mom  to an autistic child,  she just doesnt think so -  she doesnt value a child with autism the same as she values a normal child. It takes  special  people like me  to  raise autistic children for some reason. Not just anyone can  do it...which I think is  a  bold faced lie. People need to  suck it up.  My child isnt some monster that needs to be backed away from or needs special forces to control. People need to get in there and get to know her. Look past the  occasional screaming and flapping and you will find a little girly girl prncess who climbs trees, tells  knock knock jokes, and can out run her brothers. She is a lot of fun,  so  give  her a  chance...and a compliMENT

now - How you respond to a compli-sult can show how  much class you have compared  to  the ignorance of the compli-sultor...and that I think is the really tricky part....because mostly you are dealing with people  who mean well and are trying to compliment you...they just seem to not be able to do it.

After that yesterday though, I felt so weird....how do people view us as parents, as monsters  or heroes...I feel like I live in a tornado

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A grandfather's love

by seymoursheep on 04/15/2008

My dad and I have always had a loving relationship. I always have felt loved, and I knew he cared, but I never felt understood...our interests are ver...

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My dad and I have always had a loving relationship. I always have felt loved, and I knew he cared, but I never felt understood...our interests are very different. I am musical, a writer, singer, and love to be with people, an indoor cat., and the center of attention...eccentric.  My father is athletic, quick to make up his mind and slow to change, a team player, but not the leader by choice, a hard worker, and an outdoorsman. We don’t really talk a lot, never ever did much? When my third child was diagnosed with autism he had all his questions answered through my mother. Just like through my growing up years, we communicated all the important stuff through her.

Sometimes I have wondered if he really understands the magnitude of what autism has done to his only granddaughter. At first I think he thought I was  being melodramatic, and  then I took a band trip to  Austria for  10 days and  he and my mother took care of my children for  10  days. Since then things have changed, not between him and I, but between my daughter and him. I think it is because they can’t communicate traditionally.  He can’t communicate through anyone to communicate with her. With Eowyn you have to  meet her  where  she is  and  she chooses  whether or not  to let you in. I think maybe he understands the value of the relationships she does have. I know that she is very selective in who she lets into her inner circle, and I am glad he is one of them.

My dad has one passion, and that is his triathlons. He surprised us all by announcing he was going to run the Penticton Iron man for Autism as a fundraiser to raise awareness for Eowyn. He ran it before, 2 years ago, and when he was 55, and now at 57 he is going to run it again.  He is fundraising for Autism Speaks, but more importantly he will be raising awareness about autism as he goes. Here is the excerpt from his first email to his friends and  family he sent out tonite…

“I am just starting the long process of fund raising for Autism Speaks.  I am doing this to help kids like "Eowyn" our grand daughter to get support for their learning and development.  I am training 5 days a week in preparation for the Ironman Canada on August 24th in Penticton B.C.
 
You can donate online if you would like to help me along, thanks!
 
gord 
 
http://www.walknowforautism.org/c.lwKUJaNUJtF/b.3949209/siteapps/personalpage/ShowPage.aspx?c=lwKUJaNUJtF&b=3949209&sid=elJSJ7ONKgKWI8OVKwF”
 
I am so excited to see him do this because in some small  way it is like he and  I are finally on  the same page, doing something together.

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What is Autism - the video essay

by seymoursheep on 04/10/2008

As the mom of four kids, 3 with special needs, and my only daughter with autism, I get tired when I am at walmart and she is on the floor screaming ...

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As the mom of four kids, 3 with special needs, and  my only daughter with autism, I get tired when I am at walmart and she is  on the floor screaming and people are glaring, and I say "she has autism" and they look back at me like - "isnt that rain man" and  I am like "do I look like we are about to go to Vegas???" I  mean  honestly?
or...
My mother wants to know more about autism so she looks it up on the internet and gets a scientific definition that makes her hair turn grey....does it really have to be this complicated???
No it doesnt. I mean Autism is complicated because it is a spectrum disorder, and nothing in my crazy insane life  is simple...but the definition  of Autism really isnt that complex...so I made a  video essay to explain the basics of it...generalizing for the masses. This is  not a scientific tome, it is a grandma - here watch this and then you will understand why when you smile or frown at the kid she cant tell the difference...and uncle joe, I  hate to break it to you,  we arent letting you take her to Vegas because she isnt Rain Man (sigh)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1XMSPfNyiA

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