State: NJ
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Member since: Apr 06, 2008
Last logged in: Nov 29, 2008
I am in NJ. My husband and I have six kids. We have two three year olds who are on the spectrum. They are a boy and a girl and are completely opposite in personality and autistic symptoms. Our life is never dull!
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wktb's Compositions
by wktb on 05.20.08 - public - 126 visits
Today I took my youngest two girls to the store. Their brother was at school and they have off on Mondays. I took them over to my dad's house since he had my nephew there, who they love to play with. I have had some "tension" with my dad over autism. He doesn't get it at all. I see the way he looks at my son sometimes and it hurts me. It's not a look a grandfather gives their disabled grandson, but a look like"What is wrong with him?" Well, today when I got there he asks me if I heard about the church that got a restraining order to keep out an autistic kid. It thought he was going to tell me how terrible it was, but instead he said the church was right! This is my dad who goes to church every Sunday and he is telling me it is okay for them to keep a disabled child from mass. He said if the kid is disruptive he should not be there. I could have cried-or thrown something at him. Recently we were at church for a christening and my son threw a fit going in-did not want to go in as he had no idea where we were. My dad was behind us. We have another christening in a couple weeks. I feel like maybe he was telling me we shouldn't go to the church. Maybe we embarrass him. I don't know. Maybe I am reading too much into his cruel and apathetic remarks. My son was fine once we were in the church. I just can't believe a man with two kids on the spectrum could make a comment like that. I wanted to leave right away but stayed so the kids could play a bit. But this just really hurt. Needless to say I am already stressing about the church for the next christening.
Comments(12)
slhh130
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
Sorry. Its hard when its your parents. It feels like the end of the world but you have to be their parent.
wktb
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
Thank you for the support. I really needed to get that out yesterday! It still bugs me but I will be going to the christening with all the kids. Autism is hard enough to deal with without having the added stress of the ignorance of others-especially family. Thank you so much for all the comments. You guys are wonderful! Kristin
cjkellie
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
I know how you feel.. it's like my dad can't see what gifts Chad brings to me and only sees that I often get hurt .. he has told me so many times that I need to "do something" with him and get on with my life.. I think know he knows I will never give up on Chad and that Chad is my life.. Dad likes that I live out of state.. But I love what LivsDad wrote - if you don't go to church God will come to you..
KevinLivsDad
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
I got my dad all fired up on support, accepting & fighting autism. I guess I am lucky. But, there is a crowd that don't get it. Sucks when it is in your home. go to church. If, you decide not to go to church god will come to you anyway.
AWETISM
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
I feel for you soo much . Please go to church . Lift your dad up in prayer and continue to ask God to soften his heart. I did see a stoy today on the news. The boy is 13 and it did not say he hurt anyone . It did make me sick the story. I will pray your dad has a change of heart. This so hurts when family says things like this. So sorry LOL!!
PTL247
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
That child may have been restricted by that church, but no one can restrict him from the love of God. With us, it has been more of our concern of our son being a distraction at church. Our church is willing to do what ever it would take. Check out ChildrenofDestiny.com
carmel66
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
That child that was banned from church had inadvertantly hurt two poeple (one older and one young). Not saying that they were wrong in excluding that family - but it wasn't just a disruption but safety (from the story I saw).
shannonj
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
I'm sorry...that sounds like a painful conversation. Sometimes, people--even those that love us--say things that are hurtful and they have no idea how it comes across.
minnakay
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
I agree, hopefully he will realize but that might not happen. You have to do what is right for you and your kids. I am so sorry and I know I would be extremely hurt as well. I have an evil father who has alienated me and my brothers and sister but I don't think he will ever learn. Just because you are related to someone doesn't mean that you always agree. Just don't let it tear you apart.
wktb
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
Thank you--my mom and stepmom are wonderful. They understand and are supportive. My father is the complete opposite. I keep hoping he will come around and then am hurt when he doesn't. I should know better by now. You are right---I am so proud of my kids and how far they have come. If he can't deal with it-that is too bad. (I'll just keep saying that in my head as I head into the church and hope everything goes smoothly!)
4thekidz
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
He is the one missing out. I have run into the "older" crowd not being so accepting of this population. It is unfortunate that it is your father. Is your mom still living? If so what is her take on the whole thing. Whatever you do, bring your children to the church for the next christening and hold your head up high. We have all been there and yes it hurts but you have to be a mom first and you will. We will all be with you on that day.!!!!!
wktb
Posted on Tue, 20 May 2008
edit---at the end it should say a "man with two grandkids on the spectrum" not kids on the spectrum.
