I asked God to ride along with Wynn and me today. In the shower this morning, with the hot water steaming up the mirror, I prayed for a Partner to ride sidekick. Taking the same roads home that led us to Bradley Hospital almost 4 months ago, Wynn and I would drive him to his new home at Spring Harbor in Portland, Maine and I was scared.

In the past, Wynn and I have driven together quite a bit. He always sits on the right hand side of the back seat, so we can see each other and talk. Sometimes we’re quiet, and other times we sing, but those drives have also provided opportunity for some of our best conversations……

We’ve discussed birds and bugs, sisters and cousins, babies and big boys, beans and rice….why leaves change color and why men grow beards; where deer sleep and if there really is a Candyland; what the tooth fairy looks like and if she has ever met Chuck E Cheese….if all dark people are from Africa and if heaven is real.

Wynn was unusually quiet today. He sat on his knees and looked out the window, watching for bluejays. “How many states until we get to Maine, Mom?” he asked. So we counted the states and yelled hip-hip-hooray as we crossed each border.

I turned on some music to break the silence and sang along to a tune that about broke my heart….”When something is wrong with my baby, something is wrong with me…..”Aretha Franklin moaned….I moaned…..

“Mom, I’m sad.”

“Me too, bud, me too. But you’re a very brave boy, very brave.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Okay.”….For whatever reason, he didn’t want to hear about his courage this day. He probably wondered if only brave boys are dropped off at hospitals while their moms drive on home without them.

“Hey, Wynn.” I said as I changed the subject. “I hear that the food in the cafeteria is really good….Like pizza and chicken and dumplings.”

“Can I have dessert at the new hospital?”

“Yep….Any kind you want.” I reply.

We both became silent as we crossed the state line. "Welcome to Maine" said the big, green sign at the tollbooth.