State: Maine
Country: USA
Member since: Jan 23, 2007
Last logged in: Dec 01, 2008
My name is Shannon and I have a great husband and 2 amazing kids.
My oldest, Wynn, has autism and still struggles, after all these years of treatments and therapies, with anxiety and aggression. At his best, he is funny, intuitive and sensitive.
My daughter, 12 year old Haley, is strong and independent, creative and musical. She has been a shining example for Wynn and taught him many of his first words and skills by sheer example.
Steve is my husband of 19 years and partner in this endeavor to be a family in this crazy world of autism. Out of a need we had to have better communication with Wynn's team members, he created a web application called iAbida.com. It has been a project from his heart, and he makes it available to all families, around the globe, for free.
And me? In spite of being a terrible klutz, I have learned the fine art of juggling....motherhood, advocacy, household management and working from home. Foggyrock is my latest project--to fulfill my own need to be associated with other fantastic folks, like you, who I knew were out there.....Thank you for allowing me into your life through this community.
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By shannonj on 01.01.70
Comments(13)
shannonj's Compositions
by shannonj on 09.28.08 - public - 210 visits
My husband, Steve, begged me to go to the concert with my daughter tonight, but for some reason, I felt I should stay home with Wynn. He’s been a bit of a bear for the past few days and I wondered if some extra mommy-time would take the edge off of his growly mood.
So Steve and Haley headed out in the rain while Wynn paced and ranted about all the things in his life that have gone wrong and how, inevitably, they are all my fault.
“I was mad when you ate a bite of my taco!” (that happened 6 years ago at Taco Bell); “I hated it when you made me change my pants” (that was 2 years ago when a pair of his sister’s sweats ended up in his drawers and he put them on without noticing---I normally wouldn’t have cared and would have let him wear them if it made him happy, but his poor sister would have just died if she had seen her brother’s hormonal body anywhere near her favorite pants); “You never make me anything good to eat!” (he had just recently inhaled 5 homemade blueberry muffins).....and on and on and on......
This, I thought to myself, is going to be a long evening. Predicting a migraine, I reached for my a mug and made a nice warm chai. Then, as I dodged Wynn’s insults and accusations, I moved towards the recliner in the family room to wait out the war.
Having lost myself in a game of tug-of-war with our shih-tzu over my sock, I was surprised when Wynn’s scrawny behind landed squarely in my lap. He wiggled and wormed his way into a comfortable position that involved a contortion of my head and neck that cannot be scientifically confirmed. It allowed me, however, a view of his profile and I noticed a smile that hadn’t existed anywhere else on his face all afternoon. Sensing a numbness and tingling moving down my legs, I weighed it worth the cost for the calmness that was suddenly his.
“This is the chair that mommy used to rock you in when you were a baby”, I began.....”Back when your eyes were as big as saucers and I could always make everything okay.” Wynn wiggled again until he was cradled like a baby in my insufficient arms.
“Like this?” he asked.
“Yeah, like that.”......And as we rocked and swiveled together, falling over the edges with limbs too long for the ride, I knew exactly why I had stayed home tonight........
Comments(15)
steadman
Posted on Tue, 14 Oct 2008
Wow, your young man has a GREAT vocab! Out of my 3 boys that have autism, my youngest one, Bryce, he is the most vocal one. He is also the most physical one. The loudest one. He is also the biggest cuddle bug! One day, I hope and pray that all my boys can tell me what they want/need! Till then, one day at a time(no I am not an alcoholic[a.a. theme])
houseelffywinky
Posted on Thu, 9 Oct 2008
oh... thats such a wonderful thing... I think I understand your pain though my son can speak and its entirely audiable but his lack of comprehension leads to frustrated wrestling matches when I'm just trying to protect myself he cant so those thing but he punches me and hits me bites and kicks me and screams and etc... I knwo he doesnt mean it because the next day when its over and hes calm he loves me again but to be the object of his complete turmoil and frustration or at least the object he takes it out on hurts me physically and emotionally I have had to take pictures and show the doctors how aggressive and violent his "falling out" moments are...no one believes or understands because he's a perfect angel to everyone and everywhere else!
Robbiesmom
Posted on Tue, 30 Sep 2008
Awww... My Robbie does this too. Especially when he's scared. I miss those days when he fit on my lap and we'd rock for hours. I'm glad Wynn found peace, happiness and comfort in your lap. God bless your day!
4muskateers
Posted on Tue, 30 Sep 2008
Julian still tries to cuddle with dad, and asks Peter to carry him now and again...boy when you see them together you can really see how much he has grown...the times have gone by so fast in the last 4 years...But God knew where you needed to be and for Wynn's sake I am happy you listened to your heart...
kathy630
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
I really miss thos times when I could cuddle up with Michelle in the recliner or on the couch. You are so lucky to have a young man that can at least relate his feelings. Besides, I don't think they make recliners or couches big enough for me and Michelle anymore.
janneane7
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
I completely and totally relate to your story. There are times when Andy is a bear and I would rather be anywhere else but I also know that he will be better with me here with him. I laughed too about the your daughter and the pants. Allie would have had an absolute fit if Andy wore her pants. She's 25 and recently yelled at me for washing his boxers with her shirts! She told me that was disgusting and to never touch her clothes again! (Gladly LOL) I'm glad too that Wynn ended up feeling better!
frogfoot1969
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
Boy they don't forget a thing do they. I am surprised he didn't say remember when I was a baby and you didn't bring my bottle fast enough, lol. I am glad it turned into a great bonding moment for you! I think a lot of kids have been OFF this week for some reason. I had to laugh, when my oldest was a baby and in the hospital for a respiratory infection everytime the nurse came in I was holding him and she said "Are you going to be holding him in your lap when he is a teenager?" the answer is "Yes if that is what he needs!!!"
Motherof4
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
Aww! Times like that are worth the struggle. He did need his mommy, and you were there for him. On another note, Wynn's language skills and memory are really good, for him to berate you in so many different ways! I just wish it hadn't taken him so long to calm down. That's exhausting. You did a great job with him. You were there when he needed you.
LifeCoachLaura
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
I loved reading this. Harrison is a big 10 year old, but he sits on my lap several times a week. It isn't always comfortable, but it is always nice.
Taishan
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
Ahh, you capture so well in words, with elegant simplicity, the child /parental connection we long for and crave to give. God gave us a relationship with our children to nurture and sometimes to endure. But, oh, how worth it it is!!
JanisMary
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
I like the way you shared a story of such a simple action into a deep message which we all need to be reminded. Parents and kids, big or small, all need to slow down in the rush of daily life to just "be there" and "love".
momofchris
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
I am so glad you stayed home tonight too. That is beautiful. Chris loves to snuggle wtih me in our recliner and with him being 15 I know exactly what you mean about limbs being too long, but as long as he wants to be there, I plan on being there too.
striving
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
What a beautiful memory to have with your son and what understanding grace you give to him. You just impress me more and more. I"m a sentimental sort like Wynn focusing on offenses from the past when I shouldn't. But, it's that sentimentality that landed him in your lap and provided this great memory. Oh, what a wonderful memory!!!
autti34
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2008
my mom say kidds dont come with a book of instion .all mom feel like all they hear is the stuff they didnt do .not what you did do .but it his age to
