shannonj - A Hopeful Heart
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City: Harpswell
State: Maine
Country: USA
Member since: Jan 23, 2007
Last logged in: Dec 01, 2008
shannonj's Bio
 

My name is Shannon and I have a great husband and 2 amazing kids.

My oldest, Wynn, has autism and still struggles, after all these years of treatments and therapies, with anxiety and aggression. At his best, he is funny, intuitive and sensitive.

My daughter, 12 year old Haley, is strong and independent, creative and musical. She has been a shining example for Wynn and taught him many of his first words and skills by sheer example.

Steve is my husband of 19 years and partner in this endeavor to be a family in this crazy world of autism. Out of a need we had to have better communication with Wynn's team members, he created a web application called iAbida.com. It has been a project from his heart, and he makes it available to all families, around the globe, for free.

And me? In spite of being a terrible klutz, I have learned the fine art of juggling....motherhood, advocacy, household management and working from home. Foggyrock is my latest project--to fulfill my own need to be associated with other fantastic folks, like you, who I knew were out there.....Thank you for allowing me into your life through this community.

Favorite Compositions (6)

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My 12 year old son struggles, for some reason, with understanding the difference...Read more
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shannonj's Compositions

Celebrating Birthdays
by shannonj on 02.14.08 - public - 446 visits

Wynn turns thirteen--THIRTEEN!--on February 15. He doesn't want to be a teenager, and so I'm not allowed to verbalize out loud how old he really is.....

At 13, I was in the 7th grade and was editor of our year book. I hot-rolled my hair every morning, and turned up the collar of my Izod shirts. I polished my white Nikes with the red stripe and knew the soundtrack to Grease by heart. My braces were finally removed and I could now smile with confidence for the school photographer.

Wynn at 13 doesn't notice his high-water pants. They are favorites because they're soft and comfortable and he is unaware of their lack of style. His favorite tunes are still from Disney's Junglebook CD and characters in costumes never fail to bring a smile. He doesn't talk on the phone or email his friends, but he asks daily for a pet lion and wishes he could go to school with Arthur, Buster and the other animals in clothes. Regular school, he says, "is boring".

Holidays are just one of the ways that Wynn counts the days. He also uses the seasons, the school breaks and the number of Sundays left in a month to help him understand the passage of time. Once Christmas has past, the next big event is February 15--his birthday! It's special mostly because there is cake and ice cream involved--rare treats for a boy who has been on one special diet after another since he was 3 years old. Candles are irrelevant and presents are hardly noticed, but something sweet and gooey is never overlooked.

For many years he was satisfied with gluten-free chocolate cupcakes with a milk-free frosting on top. I'd serve them alongside homemade banana ice cream--the miracle product of the Champion Juicer, accomplished simply by feeding frozen bananas into the chute. I'd also haul the juicer to kindergarten and grade school parties and Wynn could eat ice cream until his stomach was tight....full mostly of cold fruit and potassium.

By the first week in January of this year, Wynn was already fit to be tied....nerves all a-twitter as he envisioned the sweet treats to come on his birthday. As the excitement and anxiety increased by the minute, we realized that a plan had to be established before he simply exploded while waiting. Patiently, my husband and I tried to explain to him how many Sundays were left before the big day. We used our fingers as we counted down the weeks and watched his eyes register some comprehension. However, as the number of fingers increased with the count, his blood pressure rose as evidenced by a nervous gait and wringing of the hands. A quick re-assessment helped us realize that, no matter when the actual day of his birth occurred, he would never be able to wait 6 weeks. It just wasn't going to happen. Heck, we would go ahead and celebrate it right then and there except for the fact that he knew all too well we were still in the month of January---and you can't celebrate a February birthday in January, for heaven's sake!....So, we counted as far as he could handle to a date that would also land us in the second month of the year, and were thrilled when he managed to process a February birthday coming in a short 4 Sundays. Never mind that it meant we would party almost 2 weeks before the real date. In the big picture (which is the view that we most often refer to), Wynn didn't know, didn't care and we were just happy to have a workable solution.

So, on February 2, 2008, my 12 year old son celebrated his 13th birthday...early, but just on time. The Specific Carbohydrate-legal pumpkin pie with almond crust and pecan muffins rocked his world. We didn't even make him share, and were satiated alone with the privilege of witnessing with wonder as he devoured his pie with culinary delight and euphoria.

And come Friday the 15th, after all of my daughter's valentine's have been opened and the candy hidden away for later, I'll silently remember the day I first met my son. In my mind, I'll hold him near me and smell his newness. Tightly wrapped in baby blue, he'll hear his mama promise to love him forever....even at 13...even then.

Tag: birthday

Comments(19)

PebblePolisher
Posted on Fri, 7 Mar 2008

Happy Birthday Wynn!

Beausmom
Posted on Mon, 18 Feb 2008

Happy Belated birthday Wynn!! You have a super Mom and Dad to take so much time to make things special for you. God bless you Shannon Beausmom

gagesdad
Posted on Sat, 16 Feb 2008

Happy (belated) Birthday Wynn! what an awesome post mommy! i could just see his little face becoming more and more anxious as y'all were counting down the Sundays and him not wanting to see anymore fingers go up and the look of joy when you finally quit counting them. i hope he had a great birthday and it sounds like he did. thanks for sharing that with us. take care.....

jacksmom
Posted on Sat, 16 Feb 2008

Happy Birthday Wynn!

Mom4Autism
Posted on Fri, 15 Feb 2008

Happy Birthday!!! Your posts are just so awe inspiring. God Bless you and your precious son.

storkdok
Posted on Fri, 15 Feb 2008

Wynn, Happy Birthday from the Ewerts!

6boys1hfa
Posted on Thu, 14 Feb 2008

The teens are fun. Specially with boys. I don't have girls so maybe thats an unfair comparison LOL. But Time flys so enjoy it! What a wonderful and well put story. I love this!! Thanks for sharing!!

Motherof4
Posted on Thu, 14 Feb 2008

How beautful! They are precious, always.

reneebowen
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Wow, I know it's coming in 3 short years, but it's so hard for me to imagine my baby turning 13, especially my baby with autism. What a beautiful piece you wrote; very poignant for me today. A friend of mine who lost her mother far too early once told me when I called to wish her Happy Birthday, "You know, I realize now that my birthday is really all about my mother - now that I have a child myself - that the day she gave birth to me is HER day and I wish she were still here for me to say Happy Birthday to her." So, Happy Birthday to you, Shannon. The love you have for your son is felt far and wide, and touched me all the way over here in California! Thank you.

zanesmom
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Happy Birthday to Wynn!! Zane loves anyone's birthday,as long as he can swipe the icing from around their cake.The family is finally accepting of this. He will be 12 this October and I still remember his first day of life like it was yesterday.Good luck with your beautiful new teenager!!

janneane7
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Happy Birthday Wynn from "me" another person who has a February birthday! It is a great month to be born! Wynn also shares his birthday on the 15th with my beautiful (soon to be 22) neice Meri. Andy counts down to his "Halloween Birthday"(he typically starts asking in June) which lands 11 days before Halloween. It doesn't matter to him that it's not the same day, it's close enough to be a "Halloween Birthday" with jack o lantern candles for the cake!! He never got the numbers, if you ask him now he'll tell you he is 14. (He's 22) I'm so glad Wynn had a delicious pie and a great time for his 13th birthday!

4thekidz
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Happy Birthday Wynn. Great ending. I remember the day we brought Evan home. I told my husband to make sure he did a dry run with the car seat so that we wouldn't look like idiots but oh no he said he knew how to do it. So of course we were trying to load everything in, bags, balloons that kept hitting us in the head as it was windy. I thought for sure the nurse was going to call DSS and take my baby away because we were to stupid to snap him into a car seat. LOL the things we remember.

Loni
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Happy Birthday Wynn!

mercurymom
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Ripped my heart out..My oldest turns 23 next week..he did NOT want to be a teen-ager either..and did not want to change. It's different on the specturm. This reall hit home remembering Aaron at 13. Bless you and Wynn..he has come so far..and I know..yes, you will love him forever. How bless we are by our childern...

Irishpunkbd
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Very well done piece----charming---Bill

Angel_Eyes
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Great Job And Wonderful Ending ! Happy Birthday To Wynn,.... God Bless

Mrs.H.
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

You know - my oldest is 26 years old, married, and settled...and yet. And yet I can smell that sweet newborn breath. And yet I can see her walk around with a bag over her head for toddler delight. And yet I can see her jumper, sweater and lunch box on her first day of first grade, and so it goes. What I don't recall quite as clearly are the nights of worry over fevers, frights, or fights. This is the gift we get - we get to remember what we want...the good stuff...the little things - and the rest can just slip away with time - too many Sundays to count. So cheers to the promises to newborns, to the recipes that our children can relish, and mamas who just love their babies...no matter how old they are. Cheers to you Shannon and Steve.

dcampos
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Great Post! I enjoyed it and I'll second that great ending.

4muskateers
Posted on Wed, 13 Feb 2008

Beautiful ending. Wow how fast they grow up. Julian doesn't care about the day, OH! but he does care about the cake. Can you send me the recipe for the pie?

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